Untamed Women

This movie's a variation on the "men-are-stranded-with-lost-civilization-of-sex-starved-women" theme. A WWII bomber is forced down in the ocean, and after paddling their raft for a few days, the surviving men come ashore on the usual uncharted island, which is ruled by a race of women descended from the Druids (!).

That's only the beginning of the fun, as the women are constantly pestered by "The Hairy Men", who are a bunch of actors dressed in animal skins and covered by fake hair. A few of the usual shots of lizards from "One Million Years B.C." are thrown in, there are battles with the "Hairy Men", and a volcanic eruption climax predictably ends the movie. The whole implausible story is told by Conrad in flashback to serious doctor Lyle Talbot and a nurse, who find the whole story a bit wild until "evidence" of its veracity is uncovered in the final shot.

This movie is entertaining due to its bizarre plot, laughable dialogue, and plentiful action sequences. There's nothing quite like it, to be sure, so watch with an open mind.

P.S.: Nomination for the movie's best line: "Ed, stand guard. Shoot anything with hair on it that moves!"

Untamed Women has pilot Mikel Conrad who has spent time on a rubber raft being rescued and is now in the hospital. He and his crew have crashed in the Pacific (I think because the film isn't real specific) laying in the bed totally mute and in shock. Dr. Lyle Talbot administers some sodium pentathol and Conrad like Ishmael tells his tale.

After sinking an enemy cruiser, the bomber is hit with flak and has to ditch in the ocean. The crew bails out and eventually four of them reach an uncharted island that the mapmakers missed.

The uncharted island was really losing currency at this time. There just aren't any of those in the Atlantic and in the Pacific during World War II, the Americans and the Japanese probably charted everything that was left, but I digress.

Once on the island Conrad and his crew run into all kinds of things, a tribe of Neanderthals who need some women because these guys definitely haven't had their itches scratched in like forever, a tribe of Amazons who are descended from Druids scattered to the four winds after the invasion of Britain by the Romans, a volcano everybody worships and for good measure some prehistoric beasts thrown in courtesy of One Million BC. I think you can figure out the rest of the plot with these elements.

The movie leaves this location purposely vague. At one point the usual guy from Brooklyn who pops up in all war movies says that if they get back on the ocean the enemy might pick them up and they'll spend the rest of the war in a concentration camp eating raw fish and rice. Clues that these guys could be in either theater.

These Amazons are without men because the Neanderthals have killed them all off in previous raids. They like what they see in this stranded bomber crew who speak so foreign, but want to make sure they're not with the Neanderthals. As for their looks, in those animal skins with Fifties styled hairdos, they look like a line that any Las Vegas club would be proud to have.

Untamed Women just goes to show that Ed Wood did not direct all the bad movies from this era.

Untamed Women (1952)

** (out of 4)

Officer Steve Holloway (Mikel Conrad) is picked up by the government adrift in a raft. He's been missing for many months and can't remember anything so a doctor (Lyle Talbot) gives him a serum that will bring his memory back and force him to tell the truth. Steven then tells the story of himself and three friends whose plane was forced down and they ended up in a raft and landed on an island. The island is ran by a group of women who date back to the Druids and they also have dinosaurs, an erupting volcano and a group of "Hairy Men" they must battle. Hal Roach must have made a killing selling off dinosaur footage from his 1940 film ONE MILLION B.C. because it has been featured in countless poverty row flicks including this one here. UNTAMED WOMEN has the reputation of being one of the worst movies ever made. There's no question that it's a very badly made movie but thankfully it's hammy enough to where you should be entertained (if you enjoy bad movies). There are some pretty memorable bad moments but the highlight of the entire film has to be the scene where one of men, suffering from issues with his mother, walks off into a forest where he gets attacked by a flesh-eating plant. His three buddies come to the rescue and just seeing how this scene plays out had me laughing out loud. Another funny sequence happens once the men are in the ocean on their raft. It's raining as hard as you can imagine yet the men's hair and clothes aren't even wet. I guess we can all give Michael Caine and JAWS: THE REVENGE a break now because the sequence here is even more pathetic. The performances are all pretty bland but the four male actors are at least entertaining enough and help draw you into the movie. The female performers were clearly hired for their looks and clearly not their acting ability. The dinosaur footage is all rather campy and there's some footage from a couple others movies but I couldn't identify which ones. Some of it might have been new because there's some stuff dealing with what looks like a large porcupine. The volcano footage at the end is yet more stock footage but at least it looks somewhat good. At 70-minutes we can be thankful that the film doesn't run too long as that's just about the right amount of time for a flick like this. Cult favorite Lyle Talbot appears in a few minutes worth a footage and he's always nice to see. UNTAMED WOMEN certainly isn't for those looking for art films but if you like cheap, generic genre movies then it's certainly got enough bad moments to be entertaining.

Silly sexploitation offering concerning the Druids descendants whereof had relocated to South Pacific's island from Europe, turns out at WWII some aircraft crash survivors reached in this time-capsule spot of Jurassic era, firstly they get in touch with some kind of Amazons living for some years without any men around, the small US' crew members getting exiting times with so gorgeous girls, looks like a paradise.

Not so fast the woman leader forbidden any relationship with those men, including put them into a cave to aiming for any physical contact, it ends up useless of course due the human nature, they were spelled from there to be back at ocean, in the journey the astonished US's soldiers have to fighting for their own life against prehistoric monsters as lizards and even a giant armadillo for instance, not too bad as some reviewers implied in their comments.

Thanks for reading.

Resume:

First watch: 2024 / How many: 1 / Source: Youtube / Rating: 5.

Crammed with Lost-World-Women Clad in Loin-Cloths and Premium Hair and Make-Up.

Magnified Lizards and Assorted Creatures, some Stolen from "One Million Years B. C." (1940), an Angry Volcano, and a Tribe of "The Harry Ones", just Waiting to Kill, Rape, and Pillage.

The Girls are All Pretty and Pretty Willing to be Friendly with the Newly Arrived Soldiers, who had to Crash-Land During Battle.

There are Copious Amounts of Genre Cliches, Tropes, and Expectations.

The Strength of the Movie is the Fast-Pacing and some Clever Shots and Angles. It's Obvious some Effort went into Making this Movie Entertaining.

The Weakness is a Never-Shuts-Up, Brooklyn Dodgers Fan who Routinely Brings the Movie to a Cringe-Inducing Halt.

But Overall if You are Attracted to this Type of Thing, it will Not Disappoint.

There is Enough Eye-Candy Here to Satisfy and the Musical Score Ain't Bad.

It also Goes Against the Grain of the Usual "Happy Ending".

The Poster Version with the T-Rex is a Colorful, Classy B-Movie Classic.

Slightly Above Average and...

Worth a Watch.