When I sat down to watch Kidnapping, Caucasian Style! (2014), directed by Maksim Voronkov, I hoped for a fresh take on the iconic 1967 Soviet comedy by Leonid Gaidai. The original is a masterclass in slapstick humor, cultural satire, and memorable characters, so a modern remake could have been a delightful nod to nostalgia with a contemporary twist. Instead, what I got was a 95-minute exercise in cinematic torture-a film so devoid of wit, charm, or competence that it feels like an insult to both its predecessor and its audience.
The plot, for what it's worth, is a near shot-for-shot rehash of the 1967 classic. Journalist Shurik (Dmitry Sharakois) arrives in the Caucasus to document local traditions, only to be unwittingly roped into a scheme by the corrupt mayor, Saakhov (Gennadiy Khazanov), to kidnap Nina (Anastasiya Zadorozhnaya), a spirited young woman Saakhov wants to marry. Shurik, smitten with Nina, eventually realizes he's been duped and sets out to rescue her. The story leans heavily on the original's framework, including the bumbling trio of "Coward," "Fool," and "Pro," but where the 1967 film sparkled with clever gags and charismatic performances, this remake stumbles at every turn.
Let's start with the acting, which ranges from lackluster to outright embarrassing. Dmitry Sharakois' Shurik lacks the endearing naivety that made Aleksandr Demyanenko's original portrayal so iconic. Instead, he comes across as a bland, confused everyman with no emotional depth or comedic timing. Anastasiya Zadorozhnaya's Nina fares slightly better, but her performance feels constrained by a script that gives her little to work with beyond looking exasperated or defiant. Gennadiy Khazanov's Saakhov is a caricature of a caricature, overplaying every line to the point of exhaustion. The trio of henchmen-played by Ararat Keshchyan, Semyon Strugachyov, and Sergei Stepanchenko-try to emulate the legendary chemistry of the original's Yuriy Nikulin, Georgiy Vitsin, and Yevgeni Morgunov, but their efforts fall flat, resulting in forced slapstick that feels more like a high school skit than a professional production. The supporting cast, including cameos by Mikhail Efremov and Larisa Udovichenko, seems to be sleepwalking through their roles, perhaps aware they're trapped in a sinking ship.
The direction is equally abysmal. Voronkov's attempt to "modernize" the story with contemporary gadgets, cars, and references feels half-hearted and inconsistent. The film can't decide if it wants to be a nostalgic tribute or a fresh interpretation, so it fails at both. Scenes are poorly paced, with awkward cuts and montages that border on disorienting-one reviewer on Letterboxd even suggested the editing could "cause epilepsy". The humor, which should be the heart of a comedy, is painfully unfunny. Jokes are either recycled directly from the original (losing all their charm in the process) or replaced with crass, out-of-place gags that feel like they were written by someone who doesn't understand comedy. A spelling error in the opening credits-"Casting" misspelled as "Castig"-sets the tone for the sloppy production values that permeate the entire film
.
Visually, the movie is a mess. The cinematography is flat and uninspired, failing to capture the vibrant Caucasian landscapes that added so much character to the original. The soundtrack is forgettable, lacking the catchy, culturally resonant songs like "A Little Song About Bears" that made the 1967 film a cultural touchstone. Even the action sequences, like the climactic car chase, feel lethargic and poorly choreographed, robbing the film of any energy or excitement.
Perhaps the most infuriating aspect is how this remake squanders its potential. The original Kidnapping, Caucasian Style! Was a sharp satire of Soviet bureaucracy and cultural stereotypes, wrapped in a universally appealing comedic package. This version strips away the nuance, replacing it with lazy stereotypes and dated humor that feels out of touch with both modern audiences and the spirit of the original. It's no surprise that the film was a commercial and critical flop, grossing a mere $291,766 against a $3.5 million budget and earning a dismal 1.2/10 on IMDb. Russian audiences, who hold the original in high regard, were particularly brutal, with the film landing at #2 on Kinopoisk's list of the worst movies of all time.
To call Kidnapping, Caucasian Style! (2014) a disappointment would be generous-it's a cinematic travesty that disrespects a beloved classic while offering nothing of value in return. It's not just bad; it's the kind of bad that makes you question why it was made at all. Save your time and rewatch the 1967 original instead. That one's a gem. This one's just garbage.
Rating: 1/10 - A painful, cringe-inducing remake that desecrates a beloved classic with shoddy execution and zero charm.
