averyoda

I want to rate Starship Goldfish higher. It deserves higher. The writing is brilliant, the animation when complete is as fun and quirky as the art style. The music, sound design, voice acting etc. are all exceptional. The problem is, Starship Goldfish is incomplete. I have been a fan since the beginning and now that the pilot is out, I am so excited to see where SG will go in it's era of full animation. However, I can't in good conscious rate Starship Goldfish higher than a 5 in it's current existence simply because the limited work I've seen is terrific and it has a wonderful community. I have already helped back the project financially and I encourage all fans to do the same, but I just don't feel comfortable rating an incomplete show a 10/10. When Starship Goldfish matures I hope to revisit this rating and give it that 10/10 that it truly deserves, but for now a 5/10 must remain.

Unless you're reading this in the future and it is a ?/10, in which case, congratulations or perhaps commiserations (hopefully not).

Good luck in the future Sam, Ghostworth, and Vela. You datch {censored by IMDB}.

I legitimately thought this was a money-laundering scheme while watching it. There was no way a movie could be this awful, right? I have so much to say about SPF-18. There is not a single faucet of this "movie" that is competent. Every performance is terrible. The characters are too basic to be called tropes. The musical direction, camera work, editing, directing, production is all well below that of the average Z-list YouTube personality. By far the worst aspect of SPF-18 is the dialogue. There is literally a line where a character unironically greets another character by saying "what's up humans". A good 50% of the movie is dubbed over for some reason, and there is an inexplicable narrator who vomits out nonsense that does not at all relate to the film every couple of minutes. Also, half of the actions that the characters take are not even performed on screen or are dubbed over. (ie. playing guitar while not moving your hand). No characters are ever introduced and if you as the viewer are not an avid consumer of teen romance dramas, you would not even understand what tropes the director is going for. There is an animated segment about 2/3 of the way through the movie that looks terrible and makes no sense. The film does not follow the three-act structure of basic storytelling except in that the characters have a minor falling out around 50 minutes into the film. The story of Icarus is alluded to the entire film, but is not used as a metaphor for anything in the film that I could notice. AM I JUST THAT STUPID? Why was this here? Why was it in the OPENING CREDITS!? Fun fact, this films credits don't even credit the right actors to the correct roles. That's how mush this film cares about itself. The entire introduction to the film is about Carson Meyer's character losing her virginity. And then she just DOES 20 minutes in and it affects nothing and the movie just carries on ignoring it. 15 minutes and the beginning of your movie are MEANINGLESS. AND WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE IT! If you're going to build this up for 20 whole minutes and introduce her virginity as if it's the main plot hook of the movie a la American Pie, and you don't care at all about your movie's writing, just go the route of The Room and add a bunch of unnecessary awkward sex scenes. At least then, SOMEONE will get a modicum of enjoyment of it. Also, the actors all seem like the hate each other IRL. Not dislike, mind you. The characters who are supposed to be love interests glare at each other like they just kicked their cat. I know at this point I'm just ranting, but trust me: It's more coherent than SPF-18's script.

1 Dead surfer dad/10: go watch Shyamalan's The Last Airbender instead.