tmmurphy-2

"Dogmatic," as another reviewer described this film, is a fitting word. The director's idea was to present Bach without plot, acting, fun, theatrics, dialog, narrative, or drama. Mission accomplished, Monsieur Straub. "Pretentious?" Yes. "Cinematic?" No way. This is anti-cinema. No one moves. Hardly anyone talks. The camera holds static shots for 10-12 minutes at a time: very very occasionally the camera will dolly in. You may catch a glimpse of Gustav Leonhardt's fingers moving over the keys. That's it.

If you like the idea of staring at the back of a harpsichordist's (bewigged) head for 7 minutes at a stretch while listening to Bach, this is the film for you. I'd rather listen to Bach on my stereo with my eyes closed.

Kairo/Pulse's reputation - as a "scary", "frightening", "depressing" movie - is undeserved. Although the beginning has a couple of good scares, the film loses narrative impetus after about twenty minutes, settling into a shapeless, baggy, scare-less middle act that bored and alienated me. The actors run the gamut of emotions from depressed to catatonic. The presentation of the ghosts is obviously cribbed from other, better J-Horror movies. Portentous scene follows portentous scene, but there's no substance, no care taken to give us a sense of the rules of the game, or the cause- and-effect of the story. That means precious little sense of human motivation. If you're like me and my friends, after half an hour you'll start laughing at the sheer randomness of the action and dialog, as well as the invariably stupid choices made by the characters. At the showing I attended, the theater was almost deserted; I should have taken that as a hint to leave and ask for my money back. Maybe Kairo's supposed to be an allegory or a parable; whatever it is, it's not drama that'll excite or engage you on any level. Go rent Ju-On 2 instead.