Admiral_Ackbar2

I was lucky enough to pick this film up in Vancouver, and I am glad I did. This is one of the best foreign films I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot. This movie plays out like a modern-day Romeo and Juliet. Andy Lau is a gangster who falls in love with a good-girl. This age-old formula is applied very well however, and is played out brilliantly. This film is by turns beautiful, violent, energetic, contemplative, and heart-breaking. The violence is visceral and unflinching, and the film is rooted strongly in reality. Andy Lau turns in his career-making performance and the female lead is excellent as well. I highly recommend this film to anyone who is looking for a well-made Hong Kong flick.

I will start by saying that I have never posted a review this low for any movie, but this piece of cinematic garbage deserves nothing more. If it were possible to vote "zero", a zero is what this would get. Everything about this movie is so mind-numbingly terrible, that after it's over I would imagine you'd simply pass out. I didn't get that far. For the first time in my life, I walked out of a movie. I simply couldn't continue watching it. Let's start with the plot. The usual super-human assassin scenario, but you've never seen it presented like this. The film begins with a credit sequence that could have been vastly improved, had they chosen to shorten it slightly. It would seem that everyone from the Director to the actors to the third assistant gaffer was mentioned, all utilizing a new credit technique that involves comic book covers. I'll leave it at that. The movie begins with Violet, the main-character explaining that "you will not understand this story". This is, apparently the only logical statement in the movie and is repeated at least once. She explains that there was some virus created (possibly by the Umbrella Corporation?) that, well what it does is never really explained. Neither is much else. You learn that she got pregnant, got the virus, and then became a super-human resistance fighter with fiber-optic hair and other pointless advances in technology. In fact pointless advances in technology, basically sum up every scene in the film. Her mission is to retrieve a briefcase, supposedly carrying a weapon, from some great big company. Every single retinal scanner, and blood tester, and eye-poker are so overblown and useless that several audience members burst out laughing. Anyway, she gets the briefcase, and it contains...Cameron Bright. And the briefcase is very small. Anyway twenty minutes and at least thirty slow-mo, non-bloody deaths later she arrives at her head office, and explains that the child must not be destroyed. She then takes it upon herself to save the poor kid, and fights more bad guys, who apparently are trained in the art of elaborate, non-bloody deaths, but not in the field of actually fighting back. (Still if I was protected by nothing but a GLASS SUIT, I'd be a bit squeamish about combat too.) And that's as far as I got. As I was leaving the theaters with my friends, I had a vision of all of us leading fellow audience members to the safety of the lobby, but I decide against it. Two other people followed us out, but the rest were determined to sit in sullen silence, contemplating what they could have bought with $8.25. Several people were asleep. And so I beg you, fellow movie lovers, don't see this film. I would not wish this film upon my worst enemy. All I know is that I will only rest easy when I see this film at the bottom of Wal-Mart's discount bin, a moment I am sure will not be far away.