jchampany

Having long been a fan of the original 1922 version of "Nosferatu", I was compelled to see the newest remake in the theater. While the cinematography was great, and there were some satisfying nods to the original Murnau film, the production at times feels somewhat ham-fisted in its attempts to cram as many spooky tropes into itself as possible.

But the film's true undoing is in the performances from Depp and Skarsgard. Both overact horribly, and both seem to approach their roles with all the tact and depth of a high-school drama student. Skarsgard's accent is particularly heinous in this regard.

While the original film was a masterpiece, this new remake is a disappointing, self-indulgent disaster.

I went into the experience of watching this pathetic excuse for a film expecting nothing, and still found myself fighting the urge to hit "stop" constantly after having endured the first ten minutes. Vapid writing, bad acting, mediocre CGI, and third-rate attempts at humor seem to be the entirety of the movie. I'm glad i waited until I could stream the movie for free instead of giving the filmmakers any of my money. I'm completely perplexed by the positive reviews for this film... at best, it's a mind-numbing, intelligence-insulting debacle that will ultimately only be remembered as an utter failure in every regard. Avoid at all costs.

By far, one of the worst films of the thousands I've seen. While an intelligent writer can write stupid characters or scenarios well, dumb writing will doom every other aspect of a film. And it doesn't get dumber than this. The attempts at humor seem like they were aimed at (and written by) six-year-olds. The movie will linger in your psyche for years, and you'll be eternally taunted by the fact that you once willingly subjected yourself to such an utterly idiotic spectacle. If you're thinking about watching this one, you'd be better off rubbing hydrochloric acid in your eyes and knowing it was still better than watching this steaming pile of cinematic excrement.