templarart

Look through the reviews... look through them. You have so many reviews with lists of severe logical failures - more than I have ever seen and on the other hand you have long, professionally written reviews with ten stars. Which are the paid-for reviews? No, this horribly written, terribly plotted pile of juvenile junk cannot be watched without screaming at the screen. I certainly did I must've screamed... 'Are you kidding me?!!' at least a hundred times. There are so many logical failures that I could write several lists myself but let me concentrate on the premise.

First I have to hit this one... the first scene you'll see in this abortion: A doctor is about to be killed for some minor offense. Seriously, the doctor working on the President is about to be killed by the 'Chancellor'. Already my mind is doing backflips about how stupid this is! A doctor?!!! The President's doctor?!! Okay, the President awakens to stop it but does he shove the Chancellor into the escape hatch and push the button? Does he demote him to janitor or put him in jail? No? The villain remains Chancellor!! Crazy! Later on the President practically commits suicide in order to hand the command over to this evil moron! WOW! Premise: So now we're at the really stupid part... the whole premise.... oh GOD this is STUPID! This should be an IQ test. Tell someone the premise and see if he immediately sees the mistake.

Life support is failing and we need to find out if the Earth is still habitable. Sighhh.... send 100 teenagers to the surface to check it out. Teens are wearing life bracelets so the station knows if they're alive or not. NOTHING else is sent with them.

A) Communication. The most important thing here is what? INFORMATION! And YET, they are sent with no radios, nothing at all to communicate back with the ship. In the severely unlikely event that the ship can only take in a binary 'bracelet on/off' signal then that can be used to send information using old-fashioned Morse code. Programming a computer to send and receive the binary signal would allow texting back and forth. No form of communication is ever established or hinted at despite the fact that communication is absolutely the primary, most important part of this whole situation.

B) Command structure. Without a command structure the whole group will break down into warring mobs decimating the group's efficiency and jeopardizing everyone's survival. Giving one person 'the con' so to speak and making two others his 2nd and 3rd in command will provide the command structure necessary to keep order and get things done.

C) Supplies. You're sending down a research team.... with no communications or command structure or even... supplies? Let's say the Earth isn't 100% hospitable but livable in some barely survivable way. Your landing team won't have the supplies to survive long enough to establish or keep a base until the next wave shows up. Crazy! D) Amnesty. "Hey guys, if you survive... amnesty!" Give them a reason to try to survive and to work with you! Duh! E) In a survival situation you simply do NOT put women of breedable age in danger and you certainly would not kill them. The landing team would be all male but that wouldn't be much fun would it? Solution: DIFFERENT PREMISE! 'They thought the teens were going to die!'... well then just kill them if you don't want to even try to make this work. If, however, you're actually trying to find out if the planet is survivable... you need to set up communications, command structure and supplies... AT THE VERY LEAST. Seriously, anyone with an IQ in the mid double digits would know this.

To me, this show looks like someone just pulled a premise out of his buttocks in order to find an excuse to throw a lot of teenagers together in a survival situation. It might have taken a mediocre writer maybe an afternoon to come up with a better, more logical premise but then.... they'd have to care that the premise was actually logical.

Almost Live was not only a funny Seattle show, it was funny on a national level easily equal to or superior to Saturday Night Live at the time.

The (206) is simply not Almost Live. We love Pat Cashman. We love John Keister. We want them to succeed. Problem is.... this honestly is just awful. The comic timing is completely off, the jokes are terrible and not even remotely clever. The most mediocre comedian would shake his head in sadness watching the skits and monologues. One of the rules of comedy is to find the joke behind a situation, discard it immediately and then look a little harder for the more clever joke that surprises the audience and hits the funny bone. The (206) ALWAYS goes for the first, obvious, mediocre joke.

One example of the obvious joke: "People say that Dori Manson is a girl's name. That's ridiculous! Manson is a guys' name. See, 'Man' is in the name." REALLY? That's a joke? If a 3rd grader was trying to use this to joke with his parents I might pet his head condescendingly... but professional comedians?! If one of these slipped through... okay... a moan once in awhile is understandable but MOST of the jokes are just that weak! I really want Pat Cashman and John Keister to stay on the air. I want good, topical Seattle humor. Please, please hire more/better writers and bring some of your old cast back.

My experience with this horrible waste of celluloid was bringing my 3, 6 and 9 year old, all Power Ranger fans, to this stinker. Although enraptured by the first movie, none of them could sit still for this one and ended up rolling in the aisles rather than watching it. This movie does everything wrong:... Talking vs Action: The worst thing you can do with a movie is to put in too much dialogue and this has WAY too much in spades - ESPECIALLY for a child's movie! Most of the movie is nothing more than actors walking around sets explaining plot details with absolutely no action until 50 minutes into the movie! 50 minutes of talking and explanation in a child's movie?!?! Really? Who wrote this?! Not only that, the Power Rangers don't actually get involved in any action until 1 hour and 10 minutes into the film!!.... Sex over Budget: It's a common B-Movie mantra that when you don't have money for location shoots, special effects or name actors - let loose the cheesecake! I can understand following this maxim in a slasher flick or teen comedy but a child's movie?! The main 'villainess' is clad in full dominatrix gear showing plenty of ample cleavage, thighs, legs and even her navel as the costume has a line going down her stomach. Much of the movie she poses and mugs at the camera while giving commands - fine for a regular B-Movie... but Power Rangers?! There are numerous close-ups and elevator shots of the female cast members including an elevator-to close up shot of the blond power ranger ending at her bust and another fade-in to close-up of Kimberly's butt as she lays face down on the island. My nine year old actually made a comment that Kim's butt was basically the whole screen. I'm no prude but WHO is this movie written for? What does this make up for? No action and an ending where the Power Rangers fight a guy in a rubber suit!? Summary: This is the perfect example of a movie put together by a director who had absolutely no idea what he was doing. This is bad as a kid's movie and bad as an adult movie - it's just plain bad!