Sheekus

I saw this movie for a free at a screening, I wouldn't see it again if you paid me. This film has the worst acting, the worst dialogue, and the most senseless plot I've ever seen. The premise of the film makes a piece of garbage like House of Wax look like a masterpiece. The movie aims to shock and teach with it's brutal "true to life" story of two girls looking to score "E" at a rave in the woods. The obvious abduction, rape, torture ensues, including a nipple being caught off and fed to it's original owner (at which time at least half the viewers got up and left the theater). Personally though I was not as offended by the grotesque senseless violence as I was by the fact that I felt my intelligence was being insulted by the film maker who claimed the film had some sort of message and redeeming value. It was the quality of a subpar B horror film and an after school special mixed. Without an ounce of reality included it was sick, twisted and pointless all together, without ever making an ounce of sense either. Movies like Cannibal Holocaust and Ichi the Killer contain more blood and guts than this film but don't strain to make it over the hour mark while offending everyone in the audience. Not that they are quality films either, but at least they don't claim to teach me anything! OK, I'm rambling, but I'm upset that free passes were given out for such a horrible film and that a major chain of theaters like Emagine would show this garbage, AVOID THIS FILM AT ALL COSTS!

First off this isn't a horror film. It's a failed attempt at a sadistic thriller and a bad rip off of Natural Born Killers and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Rob Zombie completely discounts the fact that House of 1000 Corpses existed by skipping over the underground ghouls and the likes of Dr. Satan and instead goes right onto his new slightly related waste of time. The whole cop brother searching for revenge is pretty much exactly the plot premise for Texas Chainsaw 2 with Dennis Hopper playing Lefty Enright. Now from this point the movie doesn't follow that road exactly, it jumps off the path and goes on a poorly done Natural Born Killers spree. The film spends most of it's time in a hotel room accomplishing nothing and eventually goes nowhere filling the rest of the screen time with completely sadistic and predictable crap. Zombie really makes the hour and fifty minute run time feel like forever right up until the last scene, about the only good thing in this film is the soundtrack. Other than that there are a few laughs, gained from laughable characters and ridiculous dialogue (note the sheriff grabbing the movie know it all by the collar to scold him about saying negative things about Elvis Presley). This type of banter leads me though, to the obvious point that this movie isn't supposed to be taken all too seriously and it's meant to pay homage to 70s hack and slash films. Unfortunately in a time when Texas Chainsaw and Dawn of the Dead were just remade and original films such as High Tension, Wrong Turn, Cabin Fever, etc are being released constantly, there's no need for something this unoriginal to be in theaters claiming to be all the things that are lacking in horror films today.

National Security is a far below average police comedy thanks to Martin Lawrence, most of the comedy is set on him and he succeeds only at sucking hard core and being totally annoying. If you are considering seeing this movie just go rent Lethal Weapon or Rush Hour or watch COPS. Any of the above are much more amusing and much less annoying. I'm not sure if there's one joke in this movie that isn't a "the black man is oppressed" joke, which only makes this waste of film worse. Once again, if you're considering seeing this movie, just get pulled over and ask the cop to do some stand up, chances are it will be much funnier.