cybopath

I seriously don't get the hype around The Conjuring & Insidious. They go so over the top I can't take them seriously. What ever happened to a slow burn or subtlety in horror? Don't get me wrong, I love high concept horror or a good cheese fest too. Evil Dead, Poltergeist, Hellraiser... they're not exactly documentary level BUT Conjuring sets itself up as some kind of 'realistic' horror. Constantly reminding us 'Based on a true story' well then give me a little credibility. 'The Amityville Horror' or 'The Haunted' have a foot in reality that revvs up near the end to good effect. This film lets go of reality from the beginning and personally no amount of loud jump scares can make up for a complete lack of atmosphere.

They even cram in things that didn't even happen in the 'real' story. A freaking ghost nun demon? Or how about a scene were a dog turns into an 8 foot tall crooked man? A scene so far out the box even a Nightmare on Elm Street sequel looks low key by comparison.

The actors playing the mother Peggy and the oldest daughter put on the worst 'cockney' accents I've heard since my high school presentation of Oliver Twist.

For some reason I've never watched this film. I guess I wasn't really a Kevin Costner fan as a kid, who is?, and I even think back then I found an American Robin Hood stupid.

Alas however with an interest in Historical Adventure I decided to get round to this. What the actual hell 1991? This was your second highest grossing film?

I was expecting a Hollywood movie, no doubt. I know that entails a certain amount of Americanization and commercialization. It happens in Braveheart for example but they still have a foot in some kind of reality even if they paint characters with broad strokes.

But this? Everyone who isn't good is a sniveling pantomime villain, Alan Rickman is like a cinematic version of Blackadder. He is raised by a devil worshiping witch... WHAT THE FLUFF? Complete with a children's TV dungeon set that has dry ice and green lights. Why stop there guys why not just give him a dragon too?

The main problem aside from the casting of Robin Hood is this is neither fish nor fowl. If they had intended to make a swash buckling adventure movie, something like Zorro, maybe some of this cheese would be over looked but every so often they try and make this some profound historical epic with Kevin spewing out some half assed noble words.

Honestly the one with the cartoon fox was more believable.

(Pilot) 'Ash Vs The Evil Dead' gave me exactly what I was wanting. Ash is back and sleazier than ever. the show picks up 30 years after the previous movies where we find an even more pig headed and blow heart Bruce Campbell. The humour and horror are a nice mix between Evil Dead 2 & Army of Darkness (Which leads it to be either too funny or too serious to some 'fans'). For continuity that I hear so many complain about... what continuity? Each film partially retconned the previous and changed up the genre. The only consistent thing about Evil Dead is its inconsistency.

On to episode 2 baby!