fleischwolf

this spider-man series is always good for a laugh. most of all the special effects are amusing. for instance there are three ways that peter parker can crawl up a wall: first he is pulled up by a wire, while making crawling attempts where you of course see, that his hands and feet are not sticking too the wall, but slipping off of it. second, a horrible blue screen and third when he's crawling around on a wall that is actually horizontal, while turning the camera 90°, like in the old batman series, when batman and robin are "climbing" up a building. his web shooters are giant devices of solid metal that , when used are as loud as a shot gun (thanks goodness they dropped the idea of artificial web shooters in the new movie, it was really corny to begin with). the oh so nimble spider-man is such a moron that he drops his camera WHILE SNEEZING!!!! also the shots with spider-man running around on the roofs about Manhattan stupid. he runs around looking here and there without any sense or purpose, like someone looking for his watch he lost. and never mind the web slinging. he only does this twice in the movie and each time he seems as nimble as a drunken gorilla.

add to this a corny story line and hamfisted acting and you've got yourself a campfest worth watching for its cheer hilarity!

comparing this stinker to jaws is like comparing buffy to bram stokers dracula! in fact this film has nothing of the great atmosphere, the great script or the great cast of great actors jaws had!

this stupid movie has not only a story which some 14 year old could have come up with, it also has annoying flat characters, as there are:

thomas jane: the mysterious and brave hero, a tough, reticent daredevil and ladykiller

Saffron Burrows: spoiled rich girl who's getting all into trouble with her stubborn behavior

Samuel L. Jackson: the elderly wise guy, who has been through a lot and now keeps the group together in danger

and finally the most annoying LL Cool J: obligatory black cast as stereotype ghetto goof, who's turned into a godfearing cook, but still provides us with "cool" dialogue!! ARGH!!!!!

the only great thing in the movie where the animated sharks (and i'm not talking about the CGI here!!!!!), especially in the beginning, where Carter Blake pulls out the plate from the tigersharks' jaws! aside from that it was a really bad hollywood movie with no depth! not that Renny Harlin is known for producing films that do not fall into this category!

Well, this movie was a strange one, but somehow entertaining. Seeing Arnold playing a violin is just hilarious, he looks as if he would crack the instrument anytime soon in his big paw. The movies storyline was confusing at times and you ask yourself what the film is really about. Oh and couldn't they find a more appropriate name for an Austrian? I mean Joe Santo, come on! That sounds like a Spanish pornactor!