troytheisen

I don't recall seeing any scary clowns in this movie. I think there was one clown right at the beginning that didn't have anything to do with the story, what little there was of it. And that was about it. There was not a clownhouse full of clowns, and it certainly wasn't an Amityville house full of clowns. For that matter, it wasn't even an Amityville house. What in the world is going on here?

Okay ... let's suss this out. The title of the movie is "Amityville Clownhouse." I've got that much. So, to wit ...

1. In a Clownhouse, you would expect a house that is full of clowns. Furthermore, being a movie that is labeled a "Horror" movie, you would expect a house full of murderous clowns with terrifying makeup, similar to the clown on the poster. Right? Well ... wrong. That is not in this movie. There is no clownhouse, and there are no terrifying clowns. Basically, there are NO clowns to speak of.

2. In an Amityville movie, you would expect and Amityville-looking house, buuuuut ... NO! You would be wrong. There is no Amityville house at all. And the house that IS there does not have clowns in it, so not only is it NOT a clownhouse, as previously mentioned, but it is not even an Amityville house, so the title is a big, old misdirection.

In conclusion, I honestly don't know what this is supposed to be, but it isn't what the title says it is by one iota. What I would have named it is ... "Boring, Terribly Directed & Acted Waste of Time." That would have been entirely accurate. Too bad, too, because something really cool could have been made from that title alone. What a shame. What a darn shame. :(

There is no way in blue heIl that a single one of these "actors" have ever, EVER gone to one iota, one minute, one second of acting school. The acting is so embarrassing, that I have to turn away from the cringe for most of the movie and just rely on the audio. But sadly, that aspect is just as bad. The people stutter their lines, start to say the last line or the next line, and then remember the correct and stop and say that! The director doesn't cut the scene and start over. He just barrels right on through. My guess is that he thinks it sounds natural. Guess what? IT DOESN'T SOUND NATURAL AT ALL! It sounds like some goof forgetting his or her lines while attempting to act in a one-star movie. Who funds this junk? How was a sequel ever made for this nonsense? Please, for all that it is worth, DO NOT waste your time on this rubbish! I'm warning you!