Tim Fox

Pardon the sick joke, but there are more coming, the way this movie turned out.

So a doctor (who, according to his father, is obsessed with "playing God!") takes his fiancee, drives out to his house, and promptly crashes. What happens to the darling debutante? Well, lucky thing that the doctor really IS obsessed with playing God, because he wraps up the head, takes it home, puts the ol' noodle in a lasagna pan, and brings it back to life. But it's kinda hard to make love to a bodiless woman (despite the above statement) so he goes out searching for the nicest body this side of Raquel Welch. Ah, every man's dream come true. But the other Ms. doesn't take kindly to having her mouth taped shut (long story), so she chums up with the Frankenstein monster in the closet (even longer story) and kills the doctor and herself, the suicidal maniac (short story, really.)

It's amazing - Virginia Leith (who acted for Kubrick - I can't recall which film) shows off more acting ability from her head up than most of the actors in this flick can project from their entire body. The only one who comes close is Leslie Daniel, as the doctor's Shakespearean assistant. Oh, I can you dig the subtlety behind the cat-fight ending with the "Meow"? I need not go any further.

Man, what a hoot this film is. Sure, a bunch of kids go rowing one day and find a cave that leads them to the "beginning of time" (which looks more like the Czech version of Bronson Canyon). Oh, and they meet some "animated" dinosaurs along the way and torment a frog puppet. How do the boys react? Jo-Jo, the Huck Finn clone, goes off fishing and is lost about a hundred times, which gives them a good excuse to pad the film with "looking for Jo-Jo scenes", the pith-helmeted Tony goes off to take some pictures and falls into a mud pit, later being mistaken for a caveman, Ben wears a diaper on his head, and the beret-wearing Doc - well, doc provides the educational aspect of the film. Oh, yes . . . It IS an educational film! Not the original Czech version, mind you, the U.S. Distributors thought that teachers would buy it to show it in class if they added a segment at the beginning where a stand-ins for the original actors take a stroll through the museum. It's enough to make Darwin roll over in his grave. Don't miss!

Okay. First, imagine a regular, well, abnormal episode of "Wings". Now, Imagine that it stars a group of sub-par actors like Tony Cardoza or the feminine Kevin Casey. Now imagine that it has a singing group headed by the star of West Side Story (Yes, you heard me right. You could even check the sources.) Then visualize a supporting cast of dorky photographers and ice skaters and horny doctors and such. Then edit the film for commercials so that it will go along quicker. Hell, just edit it anywhere! What? You say it still isn't long enough? Add lots and lots of skydiving footage. Shovel on the skydiving footage. Got the general idea? Good.