Kinitawowi

The debate rages on - what was the first ever RTS? Herzog Zwei? Stonkers? Dune 2? No-one's really sure - so much depends on the definition of "RTS" (and, for that matter, "first") that even Railroad Tycoon has seen entry into the fray. What is certain is that it was Dune 2 that put Westwood Studios on the map and planted the seeds of what the RTS would eventually become. Blizzard's original Warcraft ran some more with the idea, but it's Command And Conquer: Tiberian Dawn that truly set the world alight.

Dune 2 struggled with a quirky unit cap, caused simply by a shortage of processing power. C&C has no such limitations, and battles featuring scores of men and tanks over a multitude of landscapes looked stunning in addition to playing well. The linking FMVs are absorbingly written and acted - witness General Sheppard's growing frustration and rage throughout the pursuit of Kane, which is believable and compelling. These improvements marked the true beginning of the CD age of PC gaming - with this game showing what was possible, the floppy disc was dead and buried.

The story is as well-known and standardised as it is irrelevant - two organisations compete for resources and military supremacy. It's the little differences and quirks between the Global Defence Initiative (a spin off from the UN) and the Brotherhood of NOD (as old and biblical as character names like Kane and Seth are intended to imply) that grant the game the longevity, acclaim, sequels and spinoffs that it has maintained in the twelve years since.

A juggernaut that shows no signs of slowing down, and it kicked off in 1995. Now available again as part of the First Decade pack, this is a milestone of gaming that still plays well today.

The Aristocrats is not a funny joke.

This is a fact admitted at several points through this film. And it's an important thing to bear in mind when considering the film, because the film is not the joke. The film is *about* the joke. It's a documentary. It deals with far more light-hearted matter than the average documentary, but it's a documentary nonetheless. Yes, the joke is told frequently and in various ways throughout the film. But in and of themselves, only about four incarnations of the joke are worthwhile. Billy The Mime's version is inspired, the guy who does it with playing cards is clever, Gilbert Gottfried's is a masterpiece of saying precisely the wrong thing at the right time, and Sarah Silverman's first-person rendition lies perfectly between deadpan hilarity and abject horror.

The value of the film lies in the story of the joke. And in this regard, it stands as one of the funniest films ever made. The joke isn't something to be told at the dinner table. It's a challenge, told by comedians to comedians. And this is where the hundred or so comedians in this film come in, to tell us their own stories and experiences about the inception and reception of it - and of course, to do this it becomes necessary for one or two of them to provide their own interpretations. And so it goes on.

As a comedy, it's not that funny; it is, in a very literal sense, a one-joke movie. As a documentary, it's genius.

Someone gave Paul Anderson a dumptruck full of money and said "Recreate Alien."

He failed.

I was encouraged to watch this movie by a friend, who described it as the most disturbing film he'd ever seen. I describe it as one of the most boring. I saw nothing here that hadn't been done far better before.