toenails

I've been critical in the past of John Irving's novels (and their film adaptations), but The Cider House Rules was a pleasure to experience.

It is, first of all, one of the most gorgeously photographed movies I've ever seen. Don't wait for the video -- the scenery alone is worth the price of a prime-time theater ticket.

The storyline evokes Charles Dickens (I think deliberately) with its depiction of underprivileged youngsters learning how to make their way in a difficult world. The focus is on only one, but there are worthwhile glimpses at the lives of some others.

Much credit must go to the director, because performances by all the cast members, great and small, are dead-on and most gratifying. Michael Caine is, to my mind, at his career-best, and his two nurse-assistants, Jane Alexander and Kathy Baker, are perfectly cast and seem to have put all their energies into their relatively small roles. A commenter or two who worked on the film has said in this space that all the cast gave it their best, and I believe it is true.

The characterizations are multi-dimensional (especially considering that this is from John Irving, who hasn't always seemed to be in the real world). The people who populate this film display qualities of goodness and gross imperfection that ring true and provide an accurate-seeming representation of the human condition.

I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna go back and give John Irving's novels another chance! ...Maybe two chances!

Normally, I'm an incredibly easy mark for films that feature heavy doses of sentiment, abiding love, and the like. I can cry at the first gush of bathetic melodrama. This film, though, disappointed me thoroughly.

I managed a few tears at the very end, and there were a few scenes that touched me in other ways, but, on balance, I thought the movie drastically short-changed the subject matter. Conditions in the concentration camp there depicted were dismal but essentially benign as compared to the reality; the earlier part of the film was unconvincing, almost slapstick in nature.

Much, much better was the treatment in an autobiographical film by Primo Levi that I saw a few months ago...I can't remember its name, but it was about an Italian Jew (Levi) released from a concentration camp at war's end, and his long, winding trip home from Germany to Italy by way of eastern Europe. It was much more real -- much more compelling from beginning to end.

"Life is Beautiful" was an original and somewhat startling idea for a film, and perhaps in better hands it could have been as wonderful a story as some people think this film actually was. On balance, though, I think the idea just couldn't work in execution.

I generally am very accepting of movies. I don't demand perfection. But this was a TRUE stinker! The acting was terrible, the dialogue was worse. The thing had absolutely no redeeming social value. It was really hard to believe it was as bad as it was. I kept waiting for it to get just a little better, but it never did! It just went into the toilet and stayed there throughout.

Do yourself a favor. Forget it. Close your eyes in the video store, turn around six times, and stagger to the nearest row and pick the first VCR your hand touches. ...I GUARANTEE it'll be better than this turkey.