Nadsat

This is a truly awful movie. Keeping your attention on the dialogue is harder than holding a bar of wet soap. Sitting through that endless scene in the bunkhouse is like having a fifteen-minute continuous blackout; the moment it's over, you immediately forget what just happened. It is physically impossible to stay focused on this movie for more than about three words-- it's that painful.

That's not the only reason why this movie is impossible to comprehend. No scene in this movie seems to follow from anything else. Many scenes end with a shot of the main characters (who seem to appear in one shot, then vanish in the next, then reappear again as if nothing had happened) in a stationary plane; however, since the plane is never shown flying, it's impossible to tell if they have actually left or arrived. It doesn't help that every shot in the movie (including those supposedly in Cuba) was taken in the same small American town.

The movie begins with what is apparently a runaway convict, played by the flabby Mr. Francis himself. He gets together with about seven other people and they decide to invade Cuba (???), which actually doesn't seem like such a bad idea since as far as the movie's concerned the total population of Cuba is three soldiers and a man with a really fake beard (Castro.) This somehow gets around to a tungsten mine (back in America? who knows or cares?) and a man thrown into a well for no apparent reason.

This movie hurts. After you see this movie, you'll want to hurt it too. It's actually worth seeing just to experience the sheer awfulness of it; if you like bad movies, you'll get a laugh out of watching the line flubs, scene goofs, continuity jumps and gaping plot holes. But this movie is not funny so much as just pathetic.

Pod People is a chaotic mix of flimsily related plot lines, bad actors, and lame ideas. It seems made to be laughed at-- it produced one of the best Mystery Science Theater episodes. Every scene is loaded with fog, strange people, and a failed attempt at producing a sense of mystery. The only sad part of the movie is that someone actually intended it to be taken seriously. The monster shown in the background during the beginning credits reappears during the end credits and is not seen at any other time during the actual movie. The ending provides no resolution whatsoever, which actually doesn't matter because it's impossible to care about any of the overly stereotyped characters anyway. A scene guaranteed to induce hysterics: Trumpy's telekinetic "fun" with the little boy's toys.

This line comes from one of the most bizarre movie segments I've ever seen. Scene: Mitchell sitting in a car outside a house. Unidentified kid rolls up on skateboard and announces, "My mother doesn't like you." Mitchell and kid scream at each other like immature kindergarteners (at least one has the excuse of actually being one) and the kid runs away. What does this have to do with the rest of the movie? Nada, as far as I can tell. Another notable scene, this time for its nausea-inducing ability: drunk overweight Mitchell in bed with Linda Evans, the hooker, while the soundtrack plays the drippy song "That's My Mitchell."

The last scene in this movie is a complete and utter rip-off of "Key Largo." The plot is impossible to follow (if there actually is one-- it's up for debate.) Mitchell himself is an unlikeable flabby alcoholic redneck. This movie's only redeeming quality was its enjoyable appearance on Mystery Science Theater.