RunningFromSatan

...this episode would be the lowest rated of the entire show.

It contains single character focus on Cobel and none the 4 main "employees", no "office" scenes, very slow and deliberate establishing shots and 1 percent action (one character slaps another). This episode is very slow and unremarkable out of context.

The greatest shows are always the best on a rewatch and Severance is continually setting itself up to reframe everything we know. If you take what you get out of this episode and apply it to the historical record, it explains Cobel in ways that only showing, not telling, reveals.

While the ending is slightly rushed, the episode gets to the point and rockets forward with what is going to be an explosive finale. Nearly every character's tension level has turned up to 11. And I think the setup is complete, just like last season. Now it's time to watch the fireworks show.

I have watched this show at three very different times in my life: when it was airing in the mid 2000s, around when the movie came out in the mid 2010s, and now - mid 2020s.

The first was when I was in college - fresh into young adulthood I was having some fun/crazy times of my own and this show felt like an extension of that - sort of a validation of that feeling of life as a freshly free post-teenager stuck between prepping for the road ahead vs. Not letting go of adolescence. The show was, in part, just an extension of my own experiences at the time and I'm grateful for its companionship.

The second was when I was 6-7 years into my career - a sort of nostalgia and reflection rather than living that vicarious life. Sure, Ari's zings are still funny and the characters are still immensely entertaining, but I felt like my maturity level was leapfrogging the capacity of the show and started to feel like more like a sugary dessert rather than a main course as I binged it for a second time.

Now - 20 years later - this show has aged incredibly poorly. Hopefully it's not just me, but maybe it's just a product of getting older when this show feels like the equivalent of the entertainment value of an old dusty romance paperback written in the '80s but full of what would now be turbo-cancel jokes, extreme hedonism and endless innuendos. None of what the characters go through - as lavish and amazing as it appears - looks remotely appealing to me. Everyone is horny, fake and annoying. If I ever had friends as clingy as Vince's crew at my current age I would shake them faster than a dog taking Frontline for a case of fleas.

But... I choose to rate it high still. Even stranger, I've noticed that HBO has emblazoned "Entourage" with a 20th anniversary subtitle, but with extremely little fanfare. They know the show was huge but they're ashamed to promote any of the characters in today's landscape, while something like The Sopranos has had a bunch of promotion and even a documentary for its 25th just this same year.

Entourage is in many ways a counter-point to The Sopranos - a show (as it relates to the human experience) that gets more relevant to me every time I watch it as I navigate middle adulthood. The symbolism and script is absolutely beautiful and gets better with age, like an old Renaissance painting or vintage bottle of wine. It makes more of an impact to my adult life (probably because I'm bordering on the age of the main characters) than anything else I've watched.

On the flip-side, Entourage is HIGHLY targeted and the window of opportunity for maximum enjoyment is very short to those who watch it - a time capsule that is fun to look at but cringey when peeling back the top layers - the equivalent of a college party with a Natty Light 30 rack on a fraternity porch. Cheap, fun - but not part of my life anymore as I inch closer to the big 4-0.

However - that was an accurate descriptor of my weekends one point. Juxtaposing with the lifestyle - I was never rich, famous or spoiled but this show always makes me think of my times in similar age of the characters of this show and I appreciate those times gone by. Similarly, the show doesn't deserve regret, revision or rehashing. It just "is" - or enjoy it for what it "was".

After all the EXTREMELY well-done advertising for this movie and a majority positive consensus, I happily bought a ticket and arrived expecting to be creeped out, looking over my shoulder constantly during and after the movie, and captivated by disturbing performances and atmosphere...just like when I saw the self-declared spiritual successor "The Silence of the Lambs" back when I first got a DVD player as a 13 year old and had just obtained the Criterion Collection version. THAT movie, simply put...it's got it all.

"Longlegs"...has some, but it's not what you're looking for. Like getting served some really good dressing and sauce...but without a salad or steak to go along with it.

What it does get right - the setting and atmosphere and the first act. Taking it into the 1990s without cell phones and easy access to the Internet is the best decision the filmmakers made for this type of story. It does harken back on TSotL quite a bit and you get to properly engage in the story on that level and you're properly strapped in for the ride.

The problems start in the second act. There are way too many reveals and too much plodding along that a normal audience member will start connecting the dots way too quickly on the story, especially a serial murder/mystery/thriller. Halfway in you will likely have already outsmarted the very FBI agents you're watching. They should've had Longlegs remain a complete enigma, obfuscating the character's appearance (a HUGE "mehhh" to the makeup/costume department here, sorry...I was planning on that to be one of the scarier parts of this whole deal), along with his mannerisms and motives in the main timeline for much longer, and then pull it off in a grand finale one-two-three punch in the third act rather than burn it slow in the second.

Speaking of third act, which violates the "show don't tell" rule in almost every possible way after one of the big reveals - you are subjected to a monologue dump that once finished, I pretty much checked out of the movie as "done" (I ALMOST left the theater since it was getting late) even though there was 15 minutes left and in that time it took a complete tonal shift of realistic serial killer thriller with a semi-psychic into a real wonky sci-fi "if-M3GAN-met-Lecter" sort of thing (once you see the movie you'll understand) that is so frustrating to see unfold you'll wish you could just fast forward to see what you already know is going to happen.

The last thing I'll dissect - the performances. Overall - the only word that comes to mind is "sufficient". Nothing stood out to me, most importantly the character of Longlegs. HUGE potential of Nic Cage delivering a knockout performance but it was severely held back by pacing, script and makeup/appearance.

All in all - a valiant attempt to follow in the footsteps of fine cinema of days past, but extremely frustrating to watch from 40 minutes onward and...unfortunately, failing to deliver on its basic objective: it was not scary. I found a lone seagull staring at me in the dark empty parking lot next to my isolated RAV4 creepier than Longlegs himself. 5/10.