cwilliamson

Muthu paves the way in regards to romantic-comedy-action-drama-martial-arts musicals. The "chariot jump" sequence almost made me wet myself in laughter. Unbelievably hysterical. Is there an English version of this somewhere?

When "Blood" first came out as a Playstation 2 game, I was steamed -- such gorgeous art design and production values shouldn't have been squandered on a mere "interactive movie" (and judging by the reviews, a relatively poor game). Needless to say, I was first in line to check out the DVD release of the actual movie.

Here's the basic plot: monsters/vampires/evil beasties are running rampant on the Yokota U.S. military base in Japan (circa late 50s), and a mysterious Japanese-American girl shows up to clean house. Swords are unsheathed and plenty of plasma is sent airborne.

While Kitakubo's direction of the action is sound, and the art direction is drop-dead gorgeous (the CG blends in wonderfully), the underlying story is totally blah. Other "Schoolgirl-Battles-Demons" entries like "Devil Hunter Yohko" may be juvenile, but at least the writing is goofy and/or crisp enough to keep you watching. The dialogue in "Blood" is pretty shaky (though the Japanese subtitles are sure to mask it for lucky native Japanese speakers).

As a translator working in Tokyo, I realize the difficulty of acquiring decent English-speaking voice talent, but there's no excuse for a high-profile project as "Blood" to have such mediocre performances. I found myself flipping the DVD remote, trying to switch over to an all-Japanese voice track (there is none; the majority of the spoken dialogue is in English).

The film's sole redemption is the animation, which is easily on the level of "Ghost in the Shell." The film uses heavy white light filters on most shots, giving an uncomfortably over lit feeling (don't worry -- that's a good thing). The opening sequence, in which Saya dispatches a vampire in a Tokyo subway, is worth the price of admission alone. Gorgeous, gorgeous stuff. The DVD transfer is also beautiful, and features stereo, 5:1, and isolated score tracks.

Clocking in at around 45 minutes, "Blood" is notably brief, and the plot feels like a rough treatment (or a badly-written interactive movie). While the film does succeed as a visual stunner and a terrific period piece, you'll probably wind up craving a little more substance.

My god. This is, like, the greatest television show EVER. I mean, you've got this group of secret agents hanging around some tropical paradise, and they're posing as -- get this -- a BIKINI TEAM. I swear I'm not making this up. Not only that, but to make things better, FABIO is in the show! He plays the owner of the hotel where the bikini team hangs out, and his name is "Claudio" (so he wouldn't forget -- Fabio has a problem with acting, I think).

It also has the best opening theme song EVER. When Fabio pops up and poses, the singer goes "I FEEL THE HEEEEEAT" and the pianos kick in, and you know you're in for one helluva show. Brilliant!