AlGranthamMusic

Depressed, artsy girl of few words bristles at the avalanche of oppression around her. God, can't the world just sympathize with her plight?!

This is a sub-genre of film that needs to go away. Either that or people need to remember to write an actual story.

I feel there was a lot of wasted potential with this one. The film starts out well enough, playing on the retro 80s nostalgia dominating the day. As a videogame lover born in '86 it resonated with me quickly. The film even does a decent job of recreating the 80s look and aesthetic...for about ten minutes at least. Enter Gregg Zaun and June Diane Raphael, tasked with recreating the iconic roles of Darren McGavin and Melinda Dillon. The costume department must have run out of money because it looks like Zaun just walked off the set of White Lotus.

Shortly thereafter begins Neil Patrick Harris' narration, which gets about as close to plagiarizing Jean Sheppard as I imagine writers can without being sued.

The rest of the chips fall into place quickly. The terrifying bully, the stiff teacher, the mall Santa visit etc. Our forbidden Red Ryder BB gun gift has been replaced by an original Nintendo console. The pink bunny costume, switched to ugly boots. It's all somewhat cute, unrelentingly thieving and probably worth a watch with your family if you're trying to get into the Christmas spirit, or if the kids are bored.

You'd be better off showing those kids the original A Christmas Story film instead. A classic, original Christmas movie with heart.

Or maybe I'm just nostalgic.

The topic of elderly people being mistreated in Western society is a perfectly noble one to cover in film. That doesn't exempt filmmakers from providing a story though, or character development of any kind. There's essentially zero of either in The Amusement Park, a "lost film" from the late George Romero that I'd wager is getting praised by critics because of context more than anything.

There isn't much of a film here. Our main character orates to the camera for a few minutes at the beginning, explaining just how poorly seniors are treated. Then for the next 45 odd minutes, seniors are treated poorly at an amusement park. The film plays like a not-particularly-good colourized episode of the Twilight Zone, or perhaps more accurately The Ray Bradbury Theatre.

Was excited for this based on the hype, but sadly it proved little more than a mildly curious historical novelty. Heck of a poster though.