nofunatall

u wanna make a cool trash movie ? Watch this one and u know how u don't do it. Jochen Taubert doesn't know how to make a movie, even a bad one. I'm wondering that there are distributors out there, making his movies official. I mean, it's OK to do anything u want, but Mr. Taubert should check for another work. He can't direct, he can't edit. The soundtrack doesn't fit a bit, taking very bad rock songs from an unknown German band. Lyrics:" One, two, three, four, five, six seven. You're in heaven, you're in hell" promise the worst movie experience in your life. If u want to have cheap trash and slash movies, get some Fulci, Argento or D'Amato. Don't waste money on Jochen Taubert !!!

....but it´s no better. German title is "In Vitro - Attack of the Mutants ".

1) I guess the cover art is a fake, because you think, this movie has lots of splatter and gore effects, when you see it. I was thinking the same, and so I grabbed out the box from the rack..... 2) OK, first step done. I turned around the box and read through the storyline. A small outtake: " ....a horrifying bunch of mutants, who only wants to take one thing: revenge. " (Only translated from the German text on the box). 3) The next impudence: once again, the cover. I didn´t know Mr. Band before, but the banner on the box, makes it very easy to get a first impression. BANNER: A movie from Charles Band, the King of Fantastic Movies 4) After this step, I was sure to buy it, for only (about) $19,99.

So Mister Ziggerhofer, I thought, find some VHSMachine ´n stuff, insert the movie, lay back and enjoy. First 10 min: Ok found some fetus in the sewers.... After 30 min: It´s time that something happens, no blood, no gore , no splatter, in the first half hour.

At that point, my stomach gave me THE feeling. I was very amused of Lorca´s assistant, but that was all. No more suprising, pleeeeeeezzzze.

At last: I recommend this movie, for everybody, because it has all implements a FANTASTIC movie needs: Thrill, Blood, good actors, pretty girls (except Ms. King Kong), thrilling soundtrack..... and much more.

I think Mr. Band has made himself the KING, because of his outstanding ideas and wonderful directing.

But i like really bad movies, not such surprising chartbreakers.

1 out of 10 Stars

Greetings ZIG

I´m thinking about to describe this movie, with only a few words, because it´s not worth to be written about: And if it was the last movie on earth, don´t watch it.

1 out of 10

Greetings ZIG