jwave21

Once upon a time, America was respected. Then this hit the airwaves. Needless to say, things have gone downhill.

If one thing can be said in this show's favor (and it's not that they've employed what would otherwise be potential criminals), it's that they have the guts to put this mind-melting stuff on TV.

The conversations are hilarious and formulaic. A wrestler stands in the middle of the ring, microphone in hand, telling the folks at home how he is now the Second Continental Class Heavyweight Champ of Northern America or something. All of a sudden, right before the crescendo of his rant, music blares and the lights dim. Sparks shoot, fans hoot and holler, a few million brain cells are fried, IQs drop, and another wrestler steps out with microphone in hand and pointing finger in the air.

"I'm here to get that belt back, buddy."

"Oh yeah? Come and get it, fool!"

Nothing but high-quality entertainment follows. And to think, this is one of the highest-rated shows on cable. Or, like me, at this point, you throw a shoe at the TV and turn to something that's not dumb.

In the future, when one looks back on the 20th century sitcoms, one will take note of "I Love Lucy," "All in the Family," and "Seinfeld." Rightly so, my friend, rightly so. But in that esteemed group of half-hour hilarities, the brilliant "Saved by the Bell" must be included.

SBTB had such depth, such writing. And it was reality TV before "The Real World" or "Survivor." It took a realistic look at high school. It showed that in every high school, whether it be near the beaches of Malibu or near the cornfields of Nebraska, there were only six kids that mattered. The same kid who was class president was also head cheerleader, valedictorian, choir member, star athlete on the track and volleyball teams, school mascot, etc. and nobody else in the school did a thing! And of course, students like Zack Morris would get away with prank after prank after prank, even committing a felony in some cases, but still not be expelled and even find time to be best buds with the principal! This is the high school that I knew, and SBTB brought it to life. To glorious life with glorious writing. Ah yes! The writing! Some of the finest scribes of our time took their turns at SBTB. Example of a brilliant passage: SCREECH: Lisa, I got an A+ on my report card. LISA: In what? Dork 101? "Dork 101?" Hilarious. If Shakespeare were alive, he would've taken a chance at crafting such timeless dialogue. All in all, kudos to SBTB. It's gone to Hawaii, it's been through college, and yet, it still remains as good as it was in the early 90's.

Across the TV landscape, things were grim and bare. As America sat dumbfounded in their living rooms, they wished for a sitcom to appear like the sun on the horizon. Sure enough, in nineteen hundred and eighty seven, that sun appeared, illuminating the world with the Olsen Twins' winning smiles. Full House was like nothing the world had ever seen. A sitcom about three men raising three girls without a female role model, much less a mother? Hold on there, partner. Can you say cultural revolution? "Cut it out," says Uncle Joey. No, Joey, I won't cut it out. Full House took the typical sitcom format, mixed it up a bit, sprinkled it with something genuinely new, and plastered it onto the prime-time lineup.

It gave us morals. At the end of every episode, after one of those Tanner rascals had kept a stray cat or broken a prized vase behind the grown-ups' backs, Full House became a living, breathing Aesop fable. As gentle and understanding music played in the background, we saw one about one of the characters admit what they had done wrong, and in turn, we saw a reflection of our own lives, and we learned and admitted what we had done wrong at one point or another. Full House was a monument in television, and in the lives of those wise enough to watch it. At times, we're all a bit Danny, a bit Joey, a bit Jesse, a bit Michelle. Because inside all of us, it truly is a "full house."