Cyborg X

A nice Resident Evil'esque beginning with an equally Mila Jovovich sounding female started well but soon fell into pregnant pauses and arty slow-mo pouting Angelina Jolie style with Lips quivering from the off did not bode well for this Scifi flick!

Some eye candy for the guys in the form of two ladies with zero acting ability but made up for it in ample proportions with some extra large bazookas and the usual bare chested six packed hunk who to be honest wasn't that bad an actor and of course Danny Trejo thrown in for good measure and box office poster cudos!

The script - oh boy its bad, real corny bad , there are just some lines that made me shake my head; "Men drinking their own p**s , do you want to drink your own p**s and eat your own s**t" - those lines have to be heard to be believed. I hid under the couch it was that bad!

The story , well its a bit of a Terminator clone (Its a case of spot the similarities) but of the Scifi channel level of movie making and instead of steel robots you get Golds Gym muscle guys with a cape and Bane mask to hide their ugly fizzogs and a nice BFG melded onto their arm where the hand should be and the cheap (Mad Max Style) dune buggies as used in many a low budgeter to transport the cast around the desert!

There are some real technical howlers; like the "Oblivion'esque" flying drones who can identify human DNA from 1000 metres with an optical sensor - cmon guys , if you are going to make a scifi movie then at least use a little common sense and the computer screens and displays look like they were either done on the directors ZX-Spectrum or BBC Micro.The one thing the movie does exceptionally well are the gore effects - i wont spoil it but there are some really rather innovative and disgusting moments (you have been warned!).

All in all if you like low budget Scifi channel straight to video malarky (or big bazookas and six packs) this might pass the evening but don't expect Terminator style effects or a great script but it has its funny moments and of course the big bazookas, lots of grunts , screams and unnecessary swearing as usual, some old style space effects that don't look CGI but the old way of doing effects with models (which i like) and Danny Trejo really needs to invest in a new pair of false teeth or at least a smokers toothbrush!

I would have given it 4 but I am giving it 5 for the big bazookas, Danny Trejo, some really rather excellent gore effects and the computer geek who was not bad!

right from the start, you know this is going to be a terminator ripoff, and not a good one either.all the machines facilities resemble disused warehouses, and their so called sophisticated network is stored on computers that make the zx spectrum look high tech

as usual, you have the barechested guy with pecs and abs for the ladies and big breasted women who can't act for the guys, plus Danny Trejo thrown in for good measure, although he gets about 20 lines tops in the entire movie

the cyborgs look just like generic body builders, but with Bane type masks and Borg like weapons on their arms

not a bad movie overall, but not an especially good one either

I will stop a movie in a heartbeat if it looks bad but this one somehow captivated me. The acting is atrocious, the storyline is terrible, and the effects are so low budget they look like they were done by a first grader. I feel like the movie could have been decent. If everything was done better. I wasted an hour and a half but I'll recommend this movie to anyone willing to watch a movie just to see if any of it might turn decent. Spoiler alert: It only gets worse.

There is not one good thing to say about this film.

Storyline is non existent - Location is the cheapest set imaginable - Dialogue is rubbish - Acting is strained, can only shout - Choreography is unbelievably bad. Could go on but I think you get the idea.

Don't waste 90 minutes of your life watching this. Go for a walk instead.

Let's just be honest with one another, we all know that with a movie such as this, then we all know that it is going to be one of those movies. You know, the low budget movies of the questionable kind. But still, we keep returning to movies such as this out of some morbid fascination with the cheesiness of them or the hopes that they might actually turn out to be watchable and entertaining.

"Cyborg X", however, didn't prove to be much of either...

Set in a dystopian future where a radical weapons manufacturer is overthrown by a virus, the movie pits man against machine. It does sound interesting enough, right? Indeed. But then you start watching the movie and it quickly turns to something quite different.

The first indicator of this being one of those infamous low budget and cheesy movies is that it has Danny Trejo as one of the leads. Sure, the man has some good enough movies to his name, but he is not really known for making impressive movies most of the time. And "Cyborg X" is just another one of those questionable movies notched to his belt.

"Cyborg X" is filled with characters that you care very little about, if you actually care at all, and that transcends into a pointlessness to the movie. And that pointlessness is further cemented as the concept idea for the storyline is just one that is not particularly believable.

Furthermore, it seems that the writer and director K. King has been watching a bit too many sci-fi movies such as "Terminator" around the time of writing the storyline for this movie, because there are so many similarities to that movie. Similarities or possibly just a matter of lack of originality and just settling on something that has been shown in countless other movies already.

For a Sci-Fi movie, then the effects in "Cyborg X" were mediocre, and here I am talking about the practical and special effects. And a Sci-Fi movie should have proper effects in order to be more convincing and believable. But while we are on the topic of effects, then the green screen effects in "Cyborg X" were so lousy and poor that they were just laughable to look at.

I was very amused with the approach the special effects team had opted to go with the look on the cyborgs in the movie. They looked like blatant knock-offs of Bane from "The Dark Knight Rises", and to make matters worse then they were growling like hunting lions. Seriously, this was the best they could muster?

The most enjoyable thing about "Cyborg X" was a scene where one of the surviving humans who were fighting against the weaponized cyborgs got his legs blown off. Now, that was not the funny part, not cool to laugh at horrific injuries. But the funny part was the scene where he was dragging/lifting himself along on the ground to battle the cyborgs; here you could clearly see the sand shift underneath him as his legs, that were obviously just dug into the sand, clearly indicating that this was a very cheap and poorly executed trick of hiding the actors legs.

I must admit that my focus often drifted away from the screen, and even so you never missed out on anything, and you were right up to speed with the movie once you returned, because nothing much of any greater significance or importance happened throughout the course of the movie.

If you enjoy Sci-Fi action movies, then do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Cyborg X".