Kidnapping 2.0

I can find only one explanation for this extremely bad first episode of a new franchise. Their creators, despite having made tens, and more probably hundreds of millions with CSI, still want more money by milking an audience with a product they know is subpar.

The episode is a collection of idiotic clichés. Source code in green. Vibrating screen every few minutes, the equivalent of Michael Bay's lens flare over-abuse. The FBI analyst that discovers security vulnerabilities in cam software in minutes, because it's that easy. Same security analyst is directly connecting his laptop to a server in a data-center full of racks because that's of course the easiest way to read source code. I could go on and on, let's just say no cheap trick was spared to dazzle a non-specialist audience.

All this played by third rate actors who do not seem to believe or understand what they say, worse of all Patricia Arquette, as believable in the role of a cyber task-force commander and George W. Bush in a protest against Guantanamo. Her monotonous, inarticulate diction would put anyone to sleep.

The base problem with cyber is that it isn't sexy, it's quite hard to depict in an interesting but truthful way to an audience. It's a world heavily dominated by men, with lots of source code and hard maths. Granted, social hacking isn't to be underestimated. Still, this isn't a world filled with special effects or where believe it or not in which people conduct a Skype conversation on 400 square meters of computer screens just for the fun of it.

There are plenty of great crime series on television now. Bosch. Fortitude. True detective. Don't waste your time with CSI: Cyber.

I liked the first episode, but in a cringe way. As someone with "skill" close in comparison to the security/hackers/agents/hot/kryptonians on the show (in a realistic way, I´m not hot, or a god), I decided to post this. It was 2015, they where portraying made up computer science as something real, showing some government "hackers" and "experts" that had skill they acquired in Hogwarts.

I have just got in to csi. I have only seen csi Miami seasons 1 to 5 and this episode of csi cyber. It has to be said that the main character i.e. Avery Ryan has not inspired me to keep watching it. But another character comes to the rescue who I think should be the main character I.e Elijah Mundo. I think a main character should get you to like him or her in the first episode. Having said that csi Miami's Horatio Caine didn't get me to like him straight off but now a think he is great. Obvious Patricia Marquette (Avery Ryan) won't get the chance to build on the character because it has been cancelled after season 2. If there is going to be another csi series I would definitely bring back James van der beek (Elijah Mundo) to have a go at the jackpot.

These CSI spin offs keep spawning but I can see from the first episode why this one stalled.

Slick but empty with fast cuts and techno babble. Passwords being cracked with the simplicity of learning a nursery rhyme.

The cyber team get together to find a kidnapped baby. The fact that a baby cam transmission was hacked with foreign voices being heard gives them jurisdiction.

The team finds that babies are kidnapped and auctioned off to foreign buyers. It seems these foreign buyers have not heard that you can easily and cheaply buy babies from Asia or Africa from desperately poor parents. Where do you think Madonna goes to get her babies?

The characters led by Patricia Arquette are short hand ciphers. The script was mundane and absurd. It so fast moving, how did they managed to get from their base in Baltimore to other places in no time at all?

I've been waiting for this show ever since I heard about but I didn't look it up much. So I was surprised to see Van Der Beek in it or Bow wow (Shad Moss).

Anyway, I like that the cyber unit is FBI that means a larger scope and not just one city but then it's weird when they didn't have back up in some instances. Then again the special effects for the autopsy were legit so there's a weird balance in how the money was spent in that episode.

The story was mediocre, the cast was less than impressive, but I'll still give this show a shot expecting them to up their game in the next few episode. They've at least introduced a story line that we can look forward to.