- Austin Jacoby: If you order a Rick Ross or Macklemore CD...
- Malcolm: I would not order a Macklemore CD. That wouldn't happen.
- Narrator: Malcolm, Jib and Diggy used to be in the school marching band, but quit in protest after refusing to play the Harlem Shake.
- Malcolm: So, why do I want to attend Harvard? If I was white, would you even have to ask me that question?
- Malcolm: If Neil deGrasse Tyson were writing about Ice Cube, this is what it would look like.
- Mr. Bailey: You go to high school in Inglewood. You think you're going to get into Harvard?
- Malcolm: I'm from a poor, crime-filled neighborhood, raised by a single mother, don't know my dad, blah, blah. It's cliche.
- Malcolm: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Malcolm Adekanbi. I'm a straight-A student with nearly perfect SAT scores. I play in a punk band with my friends and I'm a 90s hip hop geek. A bad day for most geeks would be being the butt of jokes but when you live in the Bottoms, a bad day could look like this.
- Narrator: William Ian Sherwood the third, musician, scholar, rake, entrepreneur, conspiracy theorist. Malcolm, Jib and Diggy met William at band camp three years ago...
- Will Sherwood: Yo, you niggas need some weed? I got you. Good shit, fair prices...
- Narrator: William assured them that he used the word nigga only as a term of endearment as explained by Q-Tip in the classic song "Sucka Nigga." After that, they all hit it off, though, he never used that word again.
- Jaleel: Yo, Lilu, what are you doing opening the door butt ass naked for? Excuse my dumbass sister, man. What up?
- Malcolm: Are you AJ?
- Jaleel: No, that's my dad.
- Malcolm: I need to speak to him. It's about boys' club.
- Jaleel: Right, right, well, my dad's at his office for like a couple hours but y'all could hang out here until he gets back if you want.
- Malcolm: We, um, you know...
- Jaleel: Hey, you want to come in?
- Malcolm: Yeah, yeah
- Jaleel: Come in