Cucumber

I really don't know what to think of "Cucumber". It's certainly gripping but it also left me rather uncomfortable and wondering what I was doing to myself. To give you a bit of context: I'm from the Manchester area and it took me until my early-to-mid 20s to buck up the courage to come out. In the past few years since then, I've encountered a variety of gay people. Some are scene- obsessed, others don't have anything to do with the scene. Some are intelligent, some are stupid. Some seek alternative lifestyles, some don't. Some are quite conservative regarding sex and relationships, others far from. The fact is that sexual orientation does not necessarily define one's lifestyle or personal beliefs, nor should anyone try to beg to differ.

Though not as sleazy as the earlier "Queer as Folk", "Cucumber" portrays a stereotypical world of gay people (particularly gay men) who are narcissists, sex-addicts and general sleaze-balls. True, these people exist, and perhaps it's good to see gay people who are broke and on the fringes of society instead of fabulous, perfect- bodied and super-successful people who live in penthouses in LA or Manhattan. For someone who doesn't want to be shoved in a category and only interact with people of my own sexual orientation, it's quite frankly insulting. I understand that it's meant to be an over- the-top comedy-drama series and that it shouldn't be taken as realistic, but the fact of the matter is that some less informed people may watch it and come to see it as how gay people act and live. Feel free to make up your own mind on the programme, but just be warned.

A friend advised me to watch this series because it was supposed to be about my life. As a gay man in my early fifties I was kind of unsure if I wanted to see this, a story about a man my age dealing with my issues. Well, I just finished the last episode and I must admit that I highly enjoyed "Cucumber".

Best part of Cucumber is the great script, mostly funny, sometimes dramatic. In my opinion all important themes of gay life for a middle aged man are presented. Also the uneasy thing of the division of roles in male gay relationships and sex, who's the top and who's the bottom? Who gives and who receives? Who penetrates and who is being penetrated? Decades ago this wasn't an issue at all. I had long term relationships and I never discussed that with my boyfriends. We were happy being together. Nowadays gays want to know if you're a top or bottom. The same clarity as between a man and a woman? If you can't or wont define yourself you're going to miss sexual opportunities. In porn movies roles are defined, and so it should be in our lives. Whether or not straight rules are the same for gay sex, it's a fact that this old fashioned view on sex is now mainstream in the gay community. The tragedy about all this is that it has been scientifically proved that most gay man are in fact bottoms. So everybody is looking for a top and two bottoms don't even think about falling in love or being sexual. Oh well, everybody has to do what they must do, but I don't believe in this division.

Cucumber has many more great themes, but this was the most striking for me.

Cucumber is compared with that other gay series called "Looking". Looking was nicely shot and superbly styled but Cucumber dives much deeper and seriously in taboos like gay male sexual intercourse, loneliness, age gaps, career and work, narcissism, bi-curious youth, race and social media.

Anyone who vilifies this show because they feel it paints a "stereotypical" or "negative" portrait of what gay men are like are either painfully naive or living in denial. This show is not only frighteningly accurate but smartly written, beautifully shot, superbly acted and stylishly edited.

As a 47 year old gay man, I found this (unlike many other gay-themed TV series) to, at long last, finally depict characters with which I am familiar and with whom I identify on many levels.

It's both raw and honest and yet tempers the darker aspects of gay life with humor and respect.

As much as we would like to be perceived as no different than our straight counterparts, the reality is we are different. And for good or ill, most of us gay folk do indeed behave in the manner that is depicted in this show. It was refreshing to not see our lifestyle sugar coated.

In our fight for equality, too often we try to pretend that things are not what they appear. But they are. They always have been, and they always will be. Gay men are, after all, men. And men have a single-mindedness when it comes to behavior and desire. If this show was about straight guys, we'd all say, "Well yeah. Men behave like that." But because it's specifically about gay men, so many would like to say "gay men don't really behave like that." But we do. That is the harsh reality we need to accept.

I've been out since I was 20 years old. In the 27 years of being an out (and proud) gay man, I have seen and encountered all of these characters in my life and still, to this day, see and encounter them. Stop cry-babying that this show perpetuates negative stereotypes. If you don't like what you see in this show, then don't watch the show. But you will see no different in the real world. This is gay life. We love, we lose, we win, we make mistakes and we have sex... a lot of it if we're lucky. And when we're not having sex, we're looking for it. Not because we're gay. But because we're guys. Cucumber depicts what men do and how men behave when those men happen to be gay -- the joy, the misery, the heartache, the loss, the triumphs, the failures, the sex and the never-ending quest for it.

That is the reality of the world we live in. Sorry if you find that harsh. That's what happens when a mirror is held up and you don't like what you see. I personally had no problem with what I saw when I watched this show. I make no apologies for who I am and what I do. I'm far from a minority of one in that respect.

The problem is not with what this show portrays. The problem is that the portrayal is accurate. And that problem is, quite frankly, our problem and no one else's.

Learn to live with it.

This show is widely criticized for its stereotypical portrayal of gay characters as over-sexed, immature, sleazy and shallow. I could not agree more - the main character (as well as almost everyone on the show) is unlikeable for exactly those reasons. Nevertheless, I feel that the show (just like any other morality tale, which Cucumber basically is) uses its anti-hero to convey a message that is, in its core, a warning. What we see throughout the show, are characters who are unable to truly bond and in a desperate calling for closeness (or is it regaining lost youth, at least for some?) chase after random sex. This chase usually leads them to pathetic begging or self-commodification which, in this fictional universe, is seen as something inescapable and "normal"( like in the subplot with the video- mogul nephew). In effect, their hunger to be loved (via sexual intercourse) leads one of the characters to his death, the other to a existence of vacuous survival and endless desire. The plight of the elder generation is mirrored in the story lines of the young (in Cucumber as well as in its spin- off, Banana), who don't even consider forming any kind of durable bond, let alone expressing any kind of basic human concern (as personified in the truly repulsive character of walking "emptiness behind a pretty face" Freddie.) What I see as emblematic scene of the show is when the protagonist suggests creating a 60'-style commune, only to be met with incomprehension and laughter. The sense of togetherness that once prevailed within the gay culture has been dismantled (is it because of the embracement by the majority culture?),the social interactions take place within a strictly competitive market. Or is it a battleground?

All of this might be lost on some due to the strong comic nature of the show, but to me, the light over-tone of the whole thing only makes the tragedy more approachable to general audience.

I loved this series. The only thing that was not convincing is that in the series Henry is 46 years old. Come on!!! No 46 year old man that takes good care of himself looks that old. Henry looks more like 56 than 46.