Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys

BLOOD LAKE: ATTACK OF THE KILLER LAMPREYS is the latest monster movie from those schlock purveyors at The Asylum. It's as cheesy as it sounds, but somehow also quite nifty for an Asylum film and certainly nowhere near as bad as I'd feared. It comes across as a rip-off of PIRANHA 3D in its depiction of a multitude of underwater menaces and even features Christopher Lloyd to hammer home the similarities.

The story is simplistic and barely worth recounting. A local water supply is contaminated by lampreys with a taste for human flesh and various authority figures have to combat the menace. I like the underwater nature of these monster flicks as you get all the scenes of swimming pools and showers being invaded by the creatures as well as the local lake. Plus, the CGI isn't too bad here. It's no better than in a giant monster film but the fact that the creatures are small just makes them look more realistic.

Shannen Doherty is the big name here, but she's clearly past it and looking embarrassed by the whole thing. The rest of the cast are as wooden as they come, aside from the hammy Lloyd. It's a predictable, action-focused romp that nevertheless offers plenty of creature action and death and destruction, and it's also a notably gruesome offering with blood everywhere. It doesn't take much for a monster flick to entertain me and BLOOD LAKE just about gets by in this respect.

In this movie, killer eels go through the plumbing, slither up Christopher Lloyd's butt, then pop out his mouth.

That's horrifying on oh, so many levels that have nothing to do with this being an effective horror picture, which it is not.

That the famously reclusive character actor apparently needed the dough so badly that he'd add this call-in DTV role to his Reverend Jim / Doc Brown / Uncle Fester repertoire is sad enough. That he shakes and gesticulates in every of his few scenes like he's got the delirium tremens makes me worry for his sobriety.

But when the scariest thing in your horror movie is Shannen Doherty's face -- most specifically her Botox-frozen lips and cig-poisoned skin pallor -- you're gonna want to use your digital effects to make your lead actress look at least a bit less revolting than your vampire water snakes.

You didn't here. Ugh. Not ugh blood-sucking eels. Ugh Shannen Doherty.

Nobody dies spectacularly; none of the hot girls take their clothes off; the ending's a letdown. The Asylum, ladies and gentlemen.

Netflix "Night of the Creeps" or "Slither" instead for a movie that takes awesomely better advantage of its similarly dumb premise.

Just seen this movie on Pick TV channel.

Well, I was entertained but just not in the way that was intended... Or was it?

Honestly, everything about this movie is atrocious. Literally EVERYTHING.

But despite that, I watched the whole thing. Why? Because I can only assume it was filmed on a shoestring budget and presumably without a script or any any idea about continuity or without considering if the cast could act - everyone could have a go at acting. Lovely. They even went to the trouble of hiring people with zero sense of balance as at every opportunity people would run up to water or places in general with the Lampreys in the vicinity and just fall over.

Honestly I don't want to go into detail as it's not really worth the effort but if you like awful movies which waste an hour and a half of your life then this is worth a go.

I normally like to watch these types of movies, once in a while. I enjoy them as comedic entertainment. But, I have to say this movie was not even entertaining. The acting was just awful from everyone, especially the guy in charge of eliminating the problem, and husband to Shannon. Ugh. Skip this one, there are others much better than this.

As awful as Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is, I didn't think it was entirely without redeeming values. Christopher Lloyd(often has been one of the better aspects of bad movies, and he's had a fair share of those) is immensely fun to watch, Ciara Hanna is very sassy and actually seems to give a toss about the situation and there are some nicely composed shots here and there. However, the CGI effects are suspect at best and for me the lampreys weren't enough of a threat, we learn absolutely nothing about them, where they come from and why they're attacking and their attacks are not well executed at all. Instead they are very repetitive and come across as silly and lacking in variety, relying on silliness and excessive gore rather than genuine tension and suspense. The most inventive the attacks get is that facial expression freeze frame when one gets impaled, which did raise a good laugh. The music could and should have been used much less and plays too much of an over-dramatic dirge. The script is very flimsy, it's corny and underwritten and never allows us to identify with the characters or care about the situation. Suspense levels are next to non-existent, the movie is often too stupid and repetitive to be fun and there are exposition and melodrama parts that really plod and come across as ham-fisted. The story is very erratically paced, mostly on the dull end when ranked on the pacing spectrum, with absolutely no surprises, while not one single character is likable. Apart from Lloyd and Hanna, the acting- from people who have actually shown some degree of acting talent- is not very good. Most of them seemed oblivious to their situation and come across as annoying and charisma-free. Shannen Doherty also looks tired and acts it too. Overall, apart from a few shots, Lloyd and Hanna(and to some extent the freeze frame) Blod Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is a mess. 2/10 Bethany Cox