Vampyres

Despite the quote from Theophile Gautier's La Morte Amoureuse, cameos by Caroline Munro and Lone Fleming, and the well-cast Vampyres, this remake is almost complete misfire. All the Gothic atmosphere is replaced with cheap and almost amateurish digi look, dull scenery and ugly setting where the vampettes live. Soft porn grinding is still there, so are the brutally bloody killings - sometimes even approaching torture porn territory.

Verdict: sadly goes to category Useless Remakes.

Another try at dipping my toe into the murky waters of modern horror and it's 2015's VAMPYRES, a remake of the Jose Ramon Larraz 1974 same-name classic that I happen to rate quite highly. As usual with remakes, I spent most of the time wondering whether it was worth it, and the answer is unsurprisingly no. This is virtually a shot-for-shot retread missing out entirely the horror and eroticism of the original, replacing them with extra characters and boring subplots.

From the outset this is a tough slog, a very cheap looking digital production with that greyed-out look that many of us recognise and hate. It's another Spanish film, badly dubbed in English in the version showing on Netflix, and the no-name cast give resolutely poor performances, particularly the lead actresses who do nothing with their roles. There's some requisite blood and nudity but it's a far cry from that of the original film. The only notable thing are a couple of nothing cameos from Caroline Munro and Lone Fleming (TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD). Avoid!

Directed by Víctor Matellano (Wax, 2014), this is a Spanish remake of the 1974 British movie of the same name. Despite being (very obviously) filmed in Spain, this version retains the English countryside setting of the original. Two female vampires lure unsuspecting travellers to their large, rundown house, where they can feed on them at their leisure. Three young campers unknowingly pitch their tent near the house (and its cemetery - that should have been a clue!) and begin to fall victim to the women. That's pretty much it. There's no backstory for the vampires, they're just there and they kill whoever they can. The original was one of the early films to really lean into the 'lesbian vampire' trope and acquired a cult following because of it (and the - at the time - shocking combination of nudity and bloodshed). This certainly delivers on all those fronts, with some of the bloodletting bordering on Hostel II-type 'torture porn'. But that's really all it is. All the characters feel flat, and by the end of the film we don't really know them any better than we did when we first met them. Because of that there's very little tension and we don't care about them. The score is pretty lacklustre, with a couple of really out-of-place songs, and a lot of the camera work has a 'made-for-TV' look to it. As for the ending, there isn't much of one. It just... stops.

With the exception of some cameos (which I'll mention in a second) the entire cast is Spanish. Marta Flich and Almudena León do well with what their given as the vampires (particularly the remarkably striking Flich, who has the perfect look for this kind of role - Hammer would have swept her up in a heartbeat in the 1970s). Verónica Polo as one of the campers, although bland early on, takes it up a notch and delivers when she realises these woman are going to kill her and eat her. But the rest of the cast are unremarkable. Of those cameos, the best known is undoubtedly former Hammer and Bond babe Caroline Munro (in a fair sized but utterly irrelevant role), spending much of her time alongside Lone Fleming (the Blind Dead series, 1970s). There's also Hilda Fuchs (Pieces, 1982), Antonio Mayans (Zombie Lake, 1981), Conrado San Martin (The Awful Dr. Orlof, 1962), and - in her last role - the late May Heatherly (Cannibal Apocalypse, 1980). I can't believe Matellano wouldn't have asked Marianne Morris and Anulka Dziubinska (stars of the original movie) as well; they must have said no. Probably with good reason. A real disappointment. 3.5/10.

Spanish terror movie about two Vampyre women who cause dreadful murders , being originally directed by the Spanish craftsman Victor Matellano . It begins with a sentence by Teophile Gautier : ¨She sprang from the bed with the force of a savage animal directly to my wound , sucking my life's blood with undescribable voluptuosity¨. Blood-soaked erotic movie upon two gorgeous Vampyres coerce unsuspecting campers to their castle , a regal English manor , for a good time . Introducing a devilish new spin to the vintage movie directed by Joseph Larraz starred by Marianne Morris and Anulka . Here is told a similar story , a lesbian vampire couple (Marta Flich , Almudena León) who would waylay and kidnap various passers-by , both male and female , to take them captive at their luxurious rural manor . It is an allegory yarn set at a luxury mansion occupied by two tempting female vampires and a man they have under lock & key in their cellar . They ensnare victims with their sexy bodies , they lurk the rude woods preying on the innocent and the foolishly valiant to tread solitary , then chew their blood the old way . But their existences and lifestyles are suddenly turned upside down when three meddlesome hikers camping at a tent come upon their lair seeking to uncover their dark secrets . The campers inevitably , embrace their amazing fate as soon as to be aware that some legends are real . A decision that has unexpected sexual but ominous consequences .

This is an up-and-coming remake based on a classic movie by director José Ramón Larraz released in 1974 , a film called Vampyres . In fact , the film is dedicated and in Memoriam to Jose Ramon Larraz , master of arty gore and soft-core . Here Victor Matellano brings this ghastly and stylish story plagued with eerie intrigue , nudism , wicked sado-masochistic behaviors , highly blood-curdling scenes and murders executed in a creepy mansion . The gorgeous protagonists , Marta Flich , Almudena León , deliver the goods , they are are a pair of beautiful vampires who get victims to pull over by hitchhiking , then they proceed to bring them back to their house and drink their blood . Support cast is pretty good , including some grateful cameos as Caroline Munro , Fele Martínez , Antonio Mayans , Lone Fleming , Conrado San Martin and May Heatherly's last film .

This horror movie results to be entertaining but slow-moving , focusing two vampires abduct trippers and drivers , to hold them at their large mansion in the countryside in order to kill and feed on them to satisfy their insatiable thirst for chew their blood . Their starving wishes seem to carry out terrible deaths , which are impossible to stop . As they feed them wine , have passionate sex , and then stab them to death while drinking their blood . The alluring female Vampyres shared the pleasures of the flesh , bloody hungry , and the horrors of the grave . They unleash their fantastic skills and become even more violent and sadistic . A group that has not yet found a better place to remain attempts to find out the rare events leading to an old mansion in bloody results which end in death .

This frightening movie deliberately told contains thrills , chills , suspense , sleazy images and lots of violence and gore , including obnoxious killings . It is a straight horror film that features gallons of sleaze upon sleaze and a lot of sexualized violence . The screenplay is credited to director José Ramón Larraz along with Victor Matellano. This is a Spanish exploitation from Hammer Vampyres vein , as Victor Matellano based on the original plot from José Larraz takes here and there from ¨The Vampire Lovers" , ¨Carmilla¨, ¨Countess Dracula¨, and ¨Twins of Evil¨ , among others . Sometimes weak screenplay is added to well-staged murders and some gory special effects . Furthermore , a scary and thrilling musical score creates a real terror . Colorful but extremely dark cinematography in Hammer style with glimmer as well as lurid colors .

This imitation to sexy , twisted 1974 cult classic was professionally made -but with no originality- by Victor Matellano and was a flop at box office , in fact in Spain was only released in 15 theaters . Victor is an expert on terror movies , as he also directed : ¨Stop over in the hell¨ , ¨Wax¨ , and Short movies such as ¨La Cañada De Los Ingleses¨ , ¨¡Zarpazos! Un Viaje Por Spanish Horror¨ or ¨A Journey through Spanish Horror¨ , ¨Stacatto¨ and ¨Tío Jess¨ . His films are plenty of raw eroticism , grisly killings and depraved gore .

I love a good vampire flick so I was tempted by the title. All I can say is this "just sucks". Its sucked dry of quality scripting, narrative and the acting ranges from passable to truly awful.

Suffice to say the only thing this film feeds upon is your time and not in a good way. 2/10 from me.