Never satisfied with his existence, a chubby, pessimistic loser soon finds everything turned upside down when he becomes a vampire only to realize not everything has changed for the better and tries to find a way of coping with the situation.
For the most part this here was a big waste of time. This here mostly stems from the fact that we spend so much time with the main lead here that it soon becomes tiresome listening to such inane, pathetic drivel that is forced into this one. Being a self-centered, immature hipster who can't go more than five seconds without railing vitriol on anything and everything around him, from why he doesn't want to marry his girlfriend then trying to keep her when she shows interest in another person who genuinely likes her, being completely indifferent to his job or to the apartment where he lives or even to the dates he goes on with other women, it all basically ends in idiosyncratic rants designed to be some sort of genius look at the world but are instead pessimistic, ill- formed and completely debatable points that turn him into the most unlikable person in the world. Just by being quirky he thinks this is the coolest point ever, causing him to utilize this facet for the remainder of his screen-time that it just grows more and more pretentious as time goes on and there's nothing here that's all too enjoyable to sit through with such a self-absorbed and delusional figure that's meant to be a likable lead here. As an added chip against this, the endless complaining and posturing does nothing for the film's pace here which is so bland and languid that there's literally nothing on- screen for two-thirds of the movie, even after he's changed as he goes around in more of his delusion ranting about his change that despite hooking back up with the spurned dates he previously went on and managed to get them to sleep with him in that condition when he hasn't changed from what made them rightfully reject him to begin with is so inconceivable that it takes the viewer right out of the film and reminds us all of it being a vanity project where such a completely misguided, utterly worthless condescending jerk would be able to pull off what happens here which is played off as newfound confidence but isn't in the slightest bit true of anything other than pretentious nonsense. It's just so hard to get anything out of this that despite a few decent bloodletting scenes along the way as he tries to adapt to the change here, from the alleyway attack on the college student and the main sequence of him biting each of the dates one-by-one while sleeping with them gives this one some messy blood-letting from time-to-time here, but it's all mostly undone by the film's meager budget which restricts the vampire notion to simply his contact lenses as there's barely any fangs on display or other such powers featured here. On the whole this one was beyond worthless.
Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity and strong sexual scenes.
