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Hello Gangster (2016)

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Hello Gangster

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  • Matt Barron: You better not have fuckin' brought us here 'cause you're gonna kill us, dude.
  • Louis: What?
  • Matt Barron: Yeah, I'll fuck you up.
  • Louis: Okay, I'm never gonna do that, okay?
  • Matt Barron: You better not try to rape me, either, dude.
  • Louis: You're fucking disgusting. I would never rape you guys. I'm not gay, why do I need to rape you?
  • Matt Barron: Why wouldn't you? I'm a perfect 10!
  • Matt Barron: I'm a big deal around here, I'm not gonna lie. Like, pretty much, you gotta admit, dude, everybody knows who I am.
  • Louis: Mmhmm.
  • Matt Barron: I'm definitely, like, I'm a big deal for sure. Like, most people would know me in, like, my little radius that I go in.
  • Simon Cardoza: We made a fucking alliance, you dickhead.
  • Matt Barron: What are you talking about?
  • Louis: What?
  • Matt Barron: This is a fucking board game, Simon. An alliance? This isn't the god damn Iraq War.
  • Matt Barron: I'm gonna see if Blill can...
  • Simon Cardoza: Bill?
  • Simon Cardoza: Blill. B-L-I-L-L. I don't know why the fuck his parents put that goddamn L there, but they did.
  • Blill Masturbson: $10,000? He's not going to kill you over $10,000. He'll cut your face off, but...
  • Matt Barron: Well, I'd prefer that not to happen either.
  • Louis: Come on, Matt, enjoying it?
  • Matt Barron: I was until she hit me in the head with a fucking dildo!
  • Matt Barron: Simon doesn't respect me. Louis doesn't respect me. My parents don't respect me. My brother doesn't respect me. Everybody at work. Nobody fucking respects me. You know? Like my therapist, she says, "you give respect, you get respect." All the fuck I do is give respect. I respect everybody I fucking see. I even fucking respect people I've never even met. I'm not racist. I'm not prejudiced. I'm selfless. I just don't get it. You know? I'm an artist, man. Alright? People should fucking realize that. I'm eccentric, OK? I fucking wear weird shit. I say weird things from time to time, alright? Fucking art, you know? Nobody takes me seriously. You know? I'm like a fucking joke.
  • Louis: I got the Greenland!
  • Simon Cardoza: It's like being in a pile of shit, Matt, and then wanting to step into another pile.
  • Louis: Look, I like you guys. I like Matt. I like his music.
  • Matt Barron: I appreciate that, thank you.
  • Louis: You guys into girls?
  • Matt Barron: Fuck yeah, I'm into girls, are you kidding me?
  • Simon Cardoza: This guy is only into girls that has dick between their legs.
  • Louis: That's fucking cool, man.
  • Matt Barron: It is fucking cool, isn't it? It's like, where you like, know the dick's there, but you don't see it or touch it.
  • Matt Barron: Well, you know, he just takes advantage of you because he knows you're a little bitch.
  • Simon Cardoza: Yeah, I know.

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Hello Gangster (2016)
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