The Burning Dead

THE BURNING DEAD is a terrible movie... no doubt about it. It has 2,2 and only few reviews to date, so it will never make the Bottom 100, yet I saw it. And you might wonder why. Well, I am a movie lover that despite has mostly rated and occasionally reviewed must-see movies, theater releases, masterpieces and so on and so forth, I occasionally try very bad movies just for seeing if they have an entertainment value. Some, they have it (such as STEEL, DELTA FARCE and a few others to which I gave good scores despite the many negative reviews) but some are just plain bad. And THE BURNING DEAD is one of these.

It begins with Indian chief Night Wolf (Danny Trejo) that tells some kids a legend at night in the woods about some zombies that returned to live after the volcano erupted lava. Just a few minutes later we see a family going on vacation on the site and after a while there is an eruption, and just as the legend said, the zombies returned to life thanks to the lava's powers on the ground. Now it's up to the kids and Night Wolf to kick the zombies' snot, and not without some graphic scenes thrown for shock value.

I wanted to give this film a chance but unfortunately my hopes were wrong. The characters were all one-dimensional and more like cartoon characters than real people. Danny Trejo is the only one who gives a decent performance (just like in most of his other bad movies) but he looks a bit wasted. The special effects are very cheesy, they really look like copied and pasted on the original footage. And some of the graphic scenes were very painful to stomach, but thankfully I forgot most of them.

If you are a bad movie fan, you might actually try this movie for getting a kick out of it, but if you aren't, steer clear from this piece of bile...

I gave it a "1" because I could not select -1000 .

Special effects remind me of my science fair volcanoes I used to make with baking soda. Really really awful and not even as good as most video game cgi effects. The makeup is just as bad. The zombies are pathetic. Makes me appreciate Walking Dead. Like, wow.

Trevo, my man "Machete", is hilarious as the American Indian with obscure wisdom.

Movie makes zero sense and is barely funny. Who is this for? I will tell you. If you are having a beer party, attending a frat party, etc and are extremely buzzed then MAYBE you can watch this. You will still make fun of every scene, but at least you have an excuse for watching this dumbness.

I have seen bad zombie movies. But this is the worst by far.

This is the worst movie I have ever seen! First zombie movie I have ever seen where the characters only eat intestines and not brains!

Danny Trejo is in the movie for a few minutes but is the star? Horrible acting.

This movie even gives class B movies a bad name.

A bullet to the head doesn't kill these zombies but a fire extinguisher does? Pathetic.

What's up with the dude with the red bandana? I couldn't stop laughing every time I saw him. Hilarious!

Jenny Lin was jumping around with her boobs hanging out looking plain stupid. Please quit acting and do us all a favor.

I love zombie movies... However, this can't even be considered a zombie movie! The cinematography is absolutely horrible, the visual effects (or lack of) are a waste of time and the acting isn't even good enough to be called, "B Movie" acting! The whole synopsis is a joke. I will give the writer props for thinking of a new and inventive way of thinking about zombies but... The zombies appear when a volcano erupts green rocks. As the rocks hit the ground, suddenly zombies (if you can call them that) appear and rise from the ground. Danny Trejo has been in a lot of, "B Movies" some of which I actually enjoyed, but even this is beneath him. If I was able to rewind the clock and never waste my time watching this movie, I would.

"The Burning Dead" (also known as "Volcano Zombies") is an extremely low budget film. And, the title pretty much says it all. So, I knew going into this film that I wouldn't be seeing Masterpiece Theatre or Jane Austin!! Yup...it has what you'd expect--a lot of cheesy special effects and makeup and some occasionally broad acting. And, it's clearly for folks who like horror and don't mind it of the bargain basement variety! Now I am not saying the film is 100% bad....just mostly bad.

When the film begins, an American-Indian played by the ubiquitous Danny Trejo is telling some kids a story--and then the actual plot to this film begins. I say 'ubiquitous' because Trejo was in 17 different productions last year and is slated, so far, to be in 21. In fact, while this tough-looking guy didn't begin acting until he was almost 40, he so far has nearly 300 credits!! So did it surprise me that this Mexican-American actor was playing a Cherokee? Nah...I think he'd appear in the lead of Cinderella if they offered it to him! He hammed it up a bit during his small portion in the film, though I always enjoy seeing him...even in schlocky films like this one. To paraphrase Liberace--you might laugh...but Trejo is probably laughing himself all the way to the bank!

Trejo's story is about zombies who are vaporized during the 1840s. And, oddly, when the same volcano becomes active again today, these zombies are reconstituted by the evil volcano spirits and they set about doing what zombies do best--slowly chasing after folks who seem to inexplicably fall down and get devoured. None of this is especially inspired--especially in light of the hundred bazillion zombie TV shows and movies over the last decade. Here is the real problem though--it was bad but not bad or cheesy enough to be a film for a bad film junkie who wants to laugh at the film. Additionally, had the film not taken itself so seriously and been more like some of Sam Raimi's or George Romero's zombie films, it might have worked. As it is, there just isn't enough to recommend it.

Despite all my reservations about the film, however, I am giving it a special award for 'The Most Ludicrous Nude Scene of the Past Decade'. As the volcano is belching smoke and getting ready to blow, an insane but very shapely lady appears near the crater with her camera and starts to take some candid topless photos of herself with the volcano as a backdrop!! Rarely have I ever seen a more contrived and asinine way to insert a bit of nudity into a movie!