American Poltergeist

This is the worst film I've ever seen and that's saying something. It scores minus points out of ten. Anyone saying this is anything other than terrible clearly need their head examining. I wouldn't even class this as a movie, give a few kids an iPhone for a weekend and they could come up with something better than this trash. Awful acting and terrible film making. It's a shame because it's not a bad plot and had it been done well then this could've been a half decent project. Normally with terrible films you can laugh at how bad they are, but this was the dullest, most miserable 80-some minutes that I'll never get back. AVOID at all costs.

Have you ever watched Mystery Science Theater 2000? This movie should be featured on that show.

However, as much crap as we talked while watching this movie, we watched the entire thing without turning it off. And then immediately clicked to watch American Poltergeist 2 because we thought it was a continuation of the first. Lol.

The acting overall was as if all of the actors were new, I was surprised to see they were in other movies. The overall story line could have worked if there had been better acting and better direction. But yet... we still watched...

If you are hoping for a proper ghost movie, as I did given the "American Poltergeist" title, then you will be sorely disappointed. However, if you are looking for a pseudo-slasher movie with a woman in an old dress and lousy green make-up on her face, then this is exactly what you are looking for.

Story-wise, then "American Poltergeist" (aka "The House of Lizzie Borden") was just about as generic and predictable as they come in the haunted horror genre. Only a few paranormal things happened in the house, which seemed okay and to slowly build up to something bigger, but then Lizzie Borden manifested in the shape of a woman in an old dress and with very questionable make-up. And then the movie just fell apart. And it got especially wonderful when a non-clergyman started to perform an exorcism.

For a horror movie the only thing scary was the lack of anything even remotely spooky, scary or disturbing.

Well, I wasn't fully honest there. There is one scary thing, and that was the acting of Donna Spangler. Apparently she thinks that moving, speaking and basically doing everything in such a slow pace, that is best described as a drug-induced stupor, is considered acting. It was so painful to witness. All she did was essentially just amplifying the stupidity of the movie.

"American Poltergeist" was a disappointment of unfathomable proportions. And I should have seen it coming, as the reviewers either all really loved or hated the movie; there seemed to be no middle ground. I, if you haven't guessed it already, is of the latter option.

If you enjoy a proper horror and/or haunting movie, then you shouldn't watch this particular movie.

The official definition of what constitutes a poltergeist would run something like this"a spirit believed to manifest its presence by rappings and other noises and also by acts of mischief, such as throwing furniture about". Within four minutes of the start I was already hoping that a wardrobe would fly across the room and scythe through the entire cast. I hope for their sakes that none of them EVER watch this film that they performed in as it would surely drive them to at least self-harm. The presence of Leslie Nielsen, God bless him, would surely have rescued this awful, awful attempt to scare us. My fascination with how dreadful it was grew at an almost exponential rate with each passing minute. The wooden policeman obviously failed his zombie night-class exam and they just told him to audition for any film that requires a semi-animated lamppost. One line in the film chilled me into thinking that the worse-case scenario was about to happen. What if there was going to be a 20 minute intermission without the possibility of a toilet break or even an ice-cream? What if the second half of the film then resumed running backwards to the beginning with people ascending stairs facing the wrong way and regurgitating chewed-up burgers from their mouths and reassembling the whole on their barbecue plates? That would have really spooked me. Mercifully the director had some shred of compassion for his(surely)captive audience and limited this travesty to a mere 71 minutes including credits, which is in this case is an ironic misnomer of the first order. The stampede for the exit will result in multiple casualties. You have been warned.....

By far the worst horror I've ever seen. I put this on as back ground noise while I tidied the house, needless to say my house is spotless because this film is unable to hold your attention more than five minutes. Wooden, uncomfortable acting with a slow boring some what awkward storyline plus filming which looks like it's been filmed by some kind of gcse drama class equals a slightly irritating hurry up and get to the good bit style film which I would not recommend to anyone. I really don't understand how films like this get made nowadays. It was like watching an extended episode of the joys of wall painting. If you like a good horror film this is not for you.