- Mac McGuire: You two know that bickering is a sign of affection?
- Sloan Van Doren: Not in this case.
- Jake Dooley: No, it's a sign of insecurity. On her part.
- Jake Dooley: So what did you do before McGuire's?
- Sloan Van Doren: It's embarrassing. I folded t-shirts at the mall.
- Jake Dooley: Wow. I worked in a Santa suit outside of a dry cleaners.
- Sloan Van Doren: I wore a polyester uniform.
- Jake Dooley: I repeat: Santa suit.
- Mac McGuire: Romance is for you young kids.
- Jake Dooley: Actually, Van Doren's not all that young.
- Sloan Van Doren: I'm the same age as you.
- Jake Dooley: Really? You seem older.
- Sloan Van Doren: Oh, OK. Well, when you act 12, I'm sure everyone seems older.
- Sloan Van Doren: I thought you said that only one of us was going to get to replace Miss Jeffers?
- Fitch: Oh, and one of you will. The one who brings in the most customers between now and Christmas.
- Sloan Van Doren: With all due respect, Mr. Fitch, I take this very seriously. I mean, I was up all night with those sketches, and he did his in like what, 10 minutes on the curb?
- Jake Dooley: Well, seven, but who's counting?
- Sloan Van Doren: And I have been working at McGuire's for two years now.
- Fitch: For two years? My gosh, that's practically a lifetime, two years.
- Jake Dooley: I've been here two months, and it feels like a lifetime.
- Fitch: It certainly does, Jake. Feels like a lifetime, yeah.
- [last lines]
- Jake Dooley: We should probably do that again.
- Sloan Van Doren: Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to argue with you on that.
- Jake Dooley: Merry Christmas.
- Sloan Van Doren: Merry Christmas.
- Fitch: Listen to me; this is very important. If the impossible were to happen, and one of you two were to impress me, you might just find yourselves the next Miss Jeffers. God help us.
- Sloan Van Doren: Thank you for the opportunity. I won't disappoint you.
- Fitch: Good.
- Jake Dooley: I, on the other hand, might.
- Fitch: No doubt you will.