Vampire Lake

All the cool vampires are over at Nadja's, having a laugh about this movie over a couple of True Bloods. Even the uncool ones are snickering behind their capes.

Three stars - one, for the pretty cabin. Two, for normal-looking women. Three, because someone tried. Some acting classes might have helped, maybe a little more editing experience. Badly written entirely predictable, nothing to add to the genre. When Twilight is the better story, you know you're in trouble.

Don't waste your time on this one, it's half a step above a student project. Hard to come up with more to say. It was bad, that's pretty much it.

Arriving at a remote lake, a woman and her friends decide to use the occasion to catch up which reveals the whole trip to be a ruse for her to perform a special ritual that will resurrect a vampire said to inhabit the lake, but when it proves true must save her friends and stop the creature.

There are some issues with this one that hold it back. One of the main issues here is the fact that the simplistic story allows for a series of exceptionally silly and convenient plotpoints that are expected to pull off this kind of feature. The central idea of the trip to the lake as she can prove the idea about summoning the vampire through the local legend with her series of charms and trinkets that she believes will enable her to control the vampire is a decent idea but there are way too many bits not explored to make this believable. Being a broke college student, the idea of successfully coming into contact with an actual book blessed by the Vatican that will prevent vampires from turning her into one yet that's the ultimate end goal so there's little point in going through with this kind of setup with the one thing preventing her from getting what she wants taking a place in her safety net. Moreover, the idea of taking the pendant along to enable the vampire to move in daylight means nothing when the whole beginning setup takes place in daylight, the summoning setup takes place in the middle of the day, and the whole thing about being in daylight anyway just comes across as a filmmaking excuse to not film at night as this is a rather cheap concept. That goes along with the other big factor here with this one coming off so cheap and low-budget it's hard to get that invested in this one. The vampire's attacks are the main issue in that regard with the ambush and actual blood-sucking of his victims taking place off-screen with no gore at all on-screen which takes a lot of fun out of the encounters. The endless exposition scenes trying to lay out the different contents of the resurrection ceremony and how it works offer up such a lacking build-up that it's so deathly dull that barely anything happens so it remains quite bland without any kind of extravagant effects or production quality that highlights how cheap this one is. Granted, this one does have the basics of a fun setup that could've gone somewhere with a better attempt at filling out the details of what's going on and there's some action in the finale where the vampire attacks the remote cabin they're staying at, but it's all too little too late here.

Rated Unrated/R: Violence and Language.

It was like an accident you can't look away from. Horrible story. Horrible acting. I honestly don't think there is a single good thing I can say about this movie. There were so many spots that made absolutely no sense. Even the music was terrible.

It's ridiculous that I can't post the review as is because it's "too short". There really is nothing else to say without just spoiling a bunch of it and I'm trying very hard not to do that.

How bad does it tell you this movie is that there was nothing left to say after the first paragraph? I feel awful. I'm a "say something positive" type person, but I truly can't. 😔