The 4:30 Movie

It seems Kevin is afraid of himself.

Let me explain, we got a bit of the old Kev back in Clerks III, with great dialogs, tons of laughter and an elegance and profoundness to the lines that rivaled his early work.

It wasn't Red State (by far Smith's undefeated Magnum Opus) but at least it looked like he was starting to come back.

And then we get this movie that while cute, it felt like it was afraid of having an edge. 3 or 4 jokes cut through but the rest? Geez...

There's only so much that cameos can do if you don't have anything to say. And Kevin Smith does t seem to have anything important to say... or he's afraid to say anything at all.

Does he think they're going to mock him? Does he think the audience will not "get it"?

He was on his way to be a great writer and a great filmmaker, and for the most part I think he still can be. But he needs to get out of his own way, dig deep and say what he really wants to say.

That or he ran out of things to talk about because he has been podcasting for more than a decade.

Watch the movie for completionism. But that's about it.

Iconic writer / director Kevin Smith's '80s-based autobiographical "The 4:30 Movie" (prequelling his "Clerks" trilogy) spans a pivotal day in teen Austin Zajur's life that doesn't run smooth after he planned spending it with buds Reed Northrup & Nicholas Cirillo (and crush Siena Agundong) at douche Ken Jeong's cinema. Its light dramedy is laced with ample movie-nerd references, fun fake film trailers, and cameos from Smith faves like Justin Long, Rosario Dawson, Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, Jason Biggs, & Harley Quinn Smith (his daughter). While not matching the similarly themed "I Like Movies", Smith fans (including all fellow cinephiles, right?) will for sure adore it.

Put aside this is from director / writer Kevin Smith and judging 'The 4:30 Movie' on it's own merits you still don't come back with much to show for it. Very few laughs, slightly annoying characters and knee deep life sentiment as the plot charts a course of young romance. A downward trajectory of a man who once made witty comedies continues via tired inspiration.

New Jersey teen Brian (Austin Zajur) rekindles with his crush Melody (Siena Agudong) as plans are made to sneak into the 4:30 showing of a R-rated film together (hence the title). In the meanwhile, he hangs out with his best friends on route to a day at the movies. Here friendships and a possible relationship will be tested by egomaniac manager Mike (Ken Jeong).

I'll give a cast of young actors credit for making their characters feel down to earth if nothing else. However a story tracing the directors early life is equal parts cliched and meandering. With nothing new to say, very few comedy setups it has the entertainment factor of an afterschool special and about as much emotional depth as one too.

This isn't about the 80's neither. Ditto society's affection for going to the movies (kids are sneaking into films they didn't pay for, but hey that's okay?). What does it have to say about growing up or interactions with the opposite sex? Nothing you haven't saw or heard done better. It's coda? Awfully close to self-aggrandizing as in "Here's my life! Look at me! I made it in Hollywood after all!".

A lot of critics think 'The 4:30 Movie' is a move in the right direction for Smith and I couldn't disagree more. This was a tale in boredom and eventually I gave up hope it would get better. A handful of cameos don't elevate things. With nothing insightful, no killer dialog and few laughs the hardcore fans are saying this is a return to form. It really ain't.

The film starts and ends with a very, very weak "rom com" storyline. In total, this accounts for perhaps 15-20 minutes of the film's total run time. In between that, there's a good hour+ of just pointless, repetitive 80s references and "jokes" related to the future. The base "rom com" storyline isn't really very interesting or engaging, but that's really a minor aspect of the film.

Imagine... You travel back to 1986... and make as many statements that will prove to be inaccurate in 40 years... That's the BULK of this film.

While there's a very weak base story, most of the film is just trying to crack jokes about things that will eventually be proven true after 1986... example "There'll never be another Star Wars. Can you imagine.. they make tv series based on minor characters?!?" Those kind of "jokes". Only POSSIBLY slightly amusing because anyone watching this film would know different. They aren't "jokes" or "funny" in themselves.

The film is a series of repetitive 80s references, using only the most prominent trends of the 80s that were annoying then -- and in EVERY conversation, multiple times -- seems Smith was hard-pressed to write a single line of dialog that wasn't either referencing the 80s or miserably attempting some "joke" based solely on some future truism.

This appears to be a film targeted at 13-15 year olds.. who will miss all the (way overused) 80s references and, once in a blue moon, MIGHT find the statements about the future amusing.. but that's stretching things.

Oddest thing was the reference to needing to be 18 years old to see an R rated film.. That's never been true. It's always been 17, not 18. It states it right in the MPAA rating screen at the beginning of a film. All my life it's been 17.. and I'm the same age as Smith. Really? I mean Smith is in the film industry and he gets this wrong?? Kind of shows how much thought was put into the script.

I didn't find this film funny or even slightly amusing in ANY way... and it wasn't that interesting. This is quite possibly Kevin Smith's worst film ever. I typically love Kevin Smith films. I'll NEVER sit through this one again.

----- Pass ------

Couldn't sit through the 2nd half of the movie, except of one joke where a character wishes death upon another was the only moment that made me giggle, other than that everything was so unnatural and cringe, not even guest appearances of Justin Long nor Jason Lee could have saved it. Clerks and Mallrats fans stay away and rather go see Chasing Amy on a loop, this is borderline criminal on pair with his Yoga Hosers attempts at humor. I dont know what the cause behind this trend, age? Times of political correctness? If that's the case I would appreciate more attempts in vein of Tusk and Red State going forward. Stick to horror genre Kevin. Thanks your fan.