- Maureen: She's not younger than me. She's not skinnier than me. She's not prettier than me. Why couldn't it just be me?
- Phil: Because she's softer than you. She's quieter than you. She doesn't yell at me. She doesn't call me an idiot or tell me to shut up all the time. She listens to me. She's nice to me. She doesn't make me feel like the only thing stopping her from being happy... is me.
- Steve: [to Maeve, Paul and Dan respectively in 3 different scenes] I am required by federal law to inform you that I am a convicted sex offender.
- Dan: [playing a scene] Miss Redding.
- Evie: Detective.
- Dan: I'm going to need to ask you a few questions, if that's alright.
- Evie: Depends.
- Dan: On what?
- Evie: On whether you're the good cop or the bad cop. Which one are ya?
- Dan: Guess.
- Evie: Good cop.
- Dan: Guess again.
- [pause]
- Dan: I said, guess again. Now, Miss Redding, are you going to cooperate?
- Evie: Fuck me.
- Dan: But they're watching us behind the mirror.
- Evie: Don't care. Fuck me.
- Evie: [playing a scene] I hear you've been misbehaving, prisoner. Um... I always fall for the bad boys. What are you in here for, stud?
- Dan: Assault. Sexual assault.
- Evie: I'll bet she secretly loved it.
- Dan: He.
- Evie: For fuck's sake, Dan!
- Dan: What?
- Evie: You're trying to turn me on by telling me you have sexually assaulted a man?
- Dan: It's called having a back story, Evie.