Please Don't Feed the Children

1. Stupid plot - Check 2. Bad acting - Check 3. Terrible writing - Check 4. Dumb characters - Check

I watched this flaming pile of dung until the end just to see how bad it could get - it didn't disappoint. Each minute was worst than the preceding minute. It was that bad. How anybody convinced a "studio" to finance this disaster is beyond me.

1. The plot is a mishmash of various horror films rolled into one - just done much worse than any of the originals.

2. The acting is worse than a Hallmark family movie. I'm surprised that the editors let any of this mess out of the cutting room.

3. Not much to say about the writing - banal, brainless, regurgitated crapola.

4. The decisions made by the characters made no sense given the setting in which they were supposed to be living. The thought "Why didn't he/she just do X?" passed though my head at least once in every scene.

When I read the synopsis, I thought Okay, this sounds cool and dystopian. I was excited to see the debut directing by Destry Allyn Spielberg. The beginning of a new generation of directing, and I was not upset about the nepotism. My first red flag was when they announced it would be released on Tubi. Then the reviews started coming in, and I ignored them because I thought people were just hating on the nepotism. Yet I found out no, this movie is truly absolutely awful. What a mess. Michelle Dockery's talent was wasted in this mess of a movie that could not figure itself out. The plot holes are just completely unignorable. At no point in the 1 hour and 32 minutes of run time did any character make a realistic decision. The world-building was dismal, and when the "reveal" finally happened, I just did not care anymore. It was so bad that I have no notes on the directing choices because I was so bored and annoyed. Please just skip.

First, being the daughter of a great (mostly) director, doesn't mean the progeny will be a great director. Hence this. Does no one who writes a movie, think beyond the premise? This move comes straight from the weak as hell J. J. Abrams/Alex Kurtzman school of film writing. The premise, a disease that kills adults and affects children, well, let's be honest. The Virus of the week film isn't anything new. How it's done, like lets say the 28 series (NOT ZOMBIE MOVIES!) are brilliant, each evolving in a different way. Now, if this virus is so virulent, how has anyone survived it? (First mistake). The movie doesn't know what it wants to be; is it horror? Suspense? Where are the monsters? How did Michelle Dockery (who looks and acts like an older version of her character from Downton Abbey, and constantly uses the english term 'Sweets' for candy.) Ditto Giancarlo Esposito. This is just a bad, weak movie that runs on the coattails of the director's name. Weak and poor. I can see why it premiered on Tubi.

This is a little gem. I see great potential for Miss Destry. The missed brilliance in reviews is tragic. This director has an eye for making banal new. See it again. She's a photographer. Watch the tricky lit head shots. They are magical. Only a genius could have made this film unique in its over all slant that embodies a wonderful twist. Destry is cursed by her famous last name. This girl has a wonderful style.

I love the actors. Dockety delivers a clearly defined dervish dame. Mary the main character delivets a frightened girl whom we know will survive.

The subject of Please Don't Feed the Children is a tricky take on generational breakdown. Why are adults afraid of children? That's the core theme beneath the drama. One generation is always threatened by the next one. If we could understand this we all would be happier. The metaphor is that chilren carry an unforseen killer which is their youth, vigor, and intelligence that will outlive the adults.

That's it! Children will outlive the adults and that is why they are hounded and rounded up. The hidden virus children carry is their ability to outlive the older generation.

Nepo nonsense hit new lows with this one. Destry Allen Speilberg delivered a deeply embarrassing, borderline unwatchable cringe fest that didn't offer up a single legit scare.

Some of the cast has talent (actress from Downtown Abbey and Gus from Breaking Bad) and some maybe do but it didn't shine through this garbage. And a Spielberg making a movie with a title encouraging people to not feed children with what's going on in the world right now? Does Destry have absolutely no antenna?

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Destry is a chip off the old block when it comes to making bad movies, just like dad.