El maestro del crimen

Talk about a movie that should be watched on your phone because everyone in it phoned it in. Christopher Waltz is horribly miscast as an aging hitman with an injury, he is about as convincing as Danny Devito's chances of being drafted to the NBA.

Everything in this movie is cheap and forgettable, be it the pathetic car chase or the abysmal digital fire. Literally finished watching this 5 mins ago and I'm struggling to remember any scene of performance worth mentioning.

The only positive is that it's runtime, it feels short and an easy film to have playing in the background when you are doing something else.

If your goal was to watch a film with great action, intrigue and classic hitman/spy vibes then avoid like the plague. This is a mess, wanting to be funny but isn't, wanting to be clever, but isn't, wanting to be entertaining and again isn't. It feels like a movie made for tax write-offs and has roped in a cast that legit are bound by some irreversible contract or ungodly bet.

In light British mob dramatic-thriller "Old Guy" the London firm of implausibly young-at-heart titular hit-man Christoph Waltz prepares him for retirement by having him oversee / train young new-age upcoming killer Cooper Hoffman (good) on a 'suicide mission' to Belfast - on which Waltz takes along old friend Lucy Liu (also good). Experienced director Simon West aims for an "In Bruges" feel but Greg Johnson's second screenplay (after the decent "The Last Son") gives it no chance of hitting such heights. Not funny enough to be a comedy, but too silly to be a tense thriller, it falls between the two genres rather than rising as a crossover. Passably entertaining - no more.

When I read the synopsis, I thought that this could be a hidden gem even though the rating wasn't too high. So I gave it a try. But, boy! Do I regret watching it. The comedic part wasn't doing it for me. I don't get any laugh from watching this movie, at all. Actually, I think that the heaviest part of this movie isn't action nor comedy, it's drama. The plot is very straightforward with minimum plot twist. So no heavy thinking needed when watching it. And although the acting was decent, I couldn't help but yawning the entire time I watched this movie. It's so dull and unsatisfying, there's no joy that I get after watching it. So if you have other movies lining up in your watch list, I suggest you skip this one. Not worth your time.

Old Guy (2025) is an action comedy movie directed by Simon West and it is literally the same movie I've watched a million times.

Positives for Old Guy (2025): Christoph Waltz, Lucy Liu and the young guy whose name can't remember give decent performances. The action sequences are decent. And finally, the movie does work as background noise for other things.

Negatives for Old Guy (2025): The plot is literally the same old stuff I've seen like a million times before. The plot is very predictable with how everything plays out. You don't remember the names of any of the characters. Things are just happen in the movie for the hell of it. And finally, the movie has very messy pacing.

Overall, Old Guy (2025) is about as generic as an action comedy movie can be.

Old Guy is a comedic reworking of The Mechanic, the 1970s thriller that starred Charles Bronson.

Christoph Waltz is the ageing hitman Danny Dolinski. He still goes clubbing but has an arthritic hand. It means he cannot shoot straight.

His shadowy bosses are modernising. Out go the old timers. In come the young whippersnappers.

Danny has to train the Gen Z new blood, Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman) who is still wet behind the ears and needs to learn the craft of being a hitman.

They are tasked to kill an Irish mobster, but the job goes south. Now they are the target.

This is a generic comedy thriller that has been done to death in the last few years. The screenplay is anaemic. It wastes the talented cast which includes Lucy Liu who really does not have much to do.

The only interesting thing about this movie is the sheer number of people with producer credits.