El maestro del crimen

Talk about a movie that should be watched on your phone because everyone in it phoned it in. Christopher Waltz is horribly miscast as an aging hitman with an injury, he is about as convincing as Danny Devito's chances of being drafted to the NBA.

Everything in this movie is cheap and forgettable, be it the pathetic car chase or the abysmal digital fire. Literally finished watching this 5 mins ago and I'm struggling to remember any scene of performance worth mentioning.

The only positive is that it's runtime, it feels short and an easy film to have playing in the background when you are doing something else.

If your goal was to watch a film with great action, intrigue and classic hitman/spy vibes then avoid like the plague. This is a mess, wanting to be funny but isn't, wanting to be clever, but isn't, wanting to be entertaining and again isn't. It feels like a movie made for tax write-offs and has roped in a cast that legit are bound by some irreversible contract or ungodly bet.

In light British mob dramatic-thriller "Old Guy" the London firm of implausibly young-at-heart titular hit-man Christoph Waltz prepares him for retirement by having him oversee / train young new-age upcoming killer Cooper Hoffman (good) on a 'suicide mission' to Belfast - on which Waltz takes along old friend Lucy Liu (also good). Experienced director Simon West aims for an "In Bruges" feel but Greg Johnson's second screenplay (after the decent "The Last Son") gives it no chance of hitting such heights. Not funny enough to be a comedy, but too silly to be a tense thriller, it falls between the two genres rather than rising as a crossover. Passably entertaining - no more.

Let's face it, the hitman mobster genre was done to death long ago, rejuvenated only by a clever twist here and there. The old guy mentor twist is fine, if done right, but here it's not even close. Chris Waltz looks cringingly old, mainly in his movements, Lucy liu give another non performance, whilst the young sidekick at least has something about him that's fresh and comedic. All the other characters are truly forgettable, a mandatory baddy is'nt even written in.

Production, soundtrack, editing is left waiting for a decent cast and a workable script , none of which are delivered unfortunately.

Give this one a run out, but then retire it to the back shelf.

Danny Dolinski (Christoph Waltz) is a veteran hitman working for the London mob. He is recovering from hand surgery on his gun hand and expects to return to be the prime assassin. Instead, the organization is going younger and he is to mentor young hitman Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman). Anata (Lucy Liu) is his longtime friend and nightclub manager.

This is trying to be a comedic crime thriller. I get the concept and it has the potential to work with better writing. Waltz is trying to do some comedy. I don't think that the younger Hoffman is up to the task. Lucy Liu doesn't have much to do. This is rather blah.

... stuff! I had a typo the first time I wrote this ... it typed stiff ... which I guess would be a pun ... but even more unintended than the one in the summary headline. Just saying. But back to the movie - with Waltz ... we have to thank Tarantino for finding this amazing actor. Or rather bringing him to the spotlight.

He may not be ... Nobody - (yes I am referencing the Bob Odenkirk movie), but this is still silly and fun enough. The action is decent ... again not close to the other movie ... just don't compare those. And enjoy this movie for what it is ... a Waltz(er) ... of a movie!