Tiburolancha

Avalanche Sharks is a stupid film, plain and simple. Its characters have no characteristics beyond the surface. We have the corrupt sheriff, the greedy businessman, the tired sheriff, the virgin, the foreign and a whole cavalcade of empty-headed, teenage idiots. And even then the premise is stupider, which is saying something. It's basically Sharknado with the tornado being replaced with a skiing resort. And the worst insult is that they try to force in a half-baked origin story for these sharks. And it doesn't convince or work, at all.

The movie is really nothing more than a gorefest without the budget to pull of the blood carnage convincingly. The actors do their jobs merely to get paid, which means that we don't care what happens to them. The special effects are just sad to look and the story has no impact behind it, especially when the ending solution is so laughably deus ex machina.

Don't see this film. Sometimes films like this have a certain "so bad it's good" quality, but this is just pathetic.

Besides, I was promised a bikini skiing contest. And they never delivered. Unforgivable!

A remote ski resort is terrorized by prehistoric man eating sharks after an avalanche. Yes really!

I'm been trying to figure out what makes a good bad movie (Sharknado) vs. a bad, bad movie (Avalanche Sharks)? I mean they're both B movies you watch for a laugh in a so-bad-its-good kinda way. They're also both about equal in terms of acting, direction, plot and special effects. Yet somehow Sharknado was fun to watch whereas Avalanche Sharks was just unwatchable.

In the end I made it through about half of this, I mean I had to see a few attacks, but the CGI is poorly (cheaply) done and while this is just a crappy B movie I still wanted a bit of an explanation as to how/why there were sharks living in the snow -they apparently came from space.

I still had fun guessing who gets eaten first and how; the babes getting it in the hot tub, the dude with the snow blower or the girls running from the advancing fin cruising through the snow.

After the initial curiosity wears off though there's not much left. 01.02.14

Avalanche Sharks (2014)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A ski resort is hosting a bikini contest but they've got much bigger issues when sharks begin to come out of the snow and kill people.

I must admit that I love shark movies but the sad fact is that there really haven't been too many of them. Of course JAWS is a masterpiece and there are some other good ones like THE SHALLOWS but sadly small companies have realized that you can use bad CGI to create ugly looking sharks and throw them into any story line. This could be tornado sharks, sand sharks, sharks with three heads and in this case avalanche sharks.

Sadly this here is one of the least entertaining ones because the film spends way too much time with boring and annoying characters instead of focusing on the shark. The human characters are all extremely boring and they are all basically stereotypes that add no entertainment value. Even worse is the fact that at only 82-minutes the film drags from start to finish. I did enjoy the shark attacks and I thought the film would have benefited had there been a lot more.

It had its moments, but Sand Sharks was better. 😕

I enjoyed it, taking it for what it was. The sharks were actually scary... decent CGI. Full of hot chicks and guys. All these good looking people are actually decent actors and it makes you realize that making it in Hollywood must be very hard. These people were probably paid subsistence level wages, yet they are better than most actors you see who landed roles on tv shows or on the big screen. Are there anymore movie stars? Just a handful.