Krampus: The Christmas Devil

My first year student film in college was better than this turd, for which there isn't enough polish in the world to even give a glimmer.

An old college buddy of mine actually made a little spoof/mockumentary about asshats who get a camera and a budget and have NO idea what the hell they're doing. It's really funny if you're a filmmaker, lots of in jokes, free, and DEFINITELY better entertainment than this pile of manure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wBKVNO22gc

1-10 Ratings: =========

Dialogue = 0 (lines don't even make sense sometimes, like when the two cops are talking to each other in the police station, it's like they just mined the cheesiest dialogue from the worst cop movies ever made)

Plot = 0 (I've seen 2 other Krampus movies, and I STILL don't know what the hell THIS story is about)

Acting = 0 (your grandmother can act better than any one of these talentless hacks)

Cinematography = 0 (non-existent, doubt the "filmmaker" even knows the meaning of the word)

Costumes = 0 (I think my 8 year old nephew could come up with a better costume than this on a budget of $10 at the Dollar Store)

OVERALL = 0 (staring at a bucket of water with a ruler in it to measure condensation would be more fun, I'd take 12 inches of evaporation over the torture of the 1 hour and 20 minutes I just endured)

There are 3 types of movies: 1) movies good enough to watch from beginning to end without fast-forwarding; 2) terrible movies where you can't suppress your urge to fast-forward through them; 3) godawful movies where you realize even fast-forwarding through them would be a waste of time.

Kraptacular...er...I mean Krampus the Christmas Devil is in the number 3 category. I started ff-ing 30 minutes in then by 68 minutes I just decided to turn it off. I just said, "Nah, I can't watch this piece of garbage. I have better things to do with my time, like watch water boil." This movie is the very definition of amateur. It looks like the director got an camera, went to his local roadside bar and said, "Hey guys, I have a camera. Wanna make a movie with me?" They asked, "What's in it for us?" He replied, "Free beer." Then they said, "I'm in." Seriously. I 100% believe that's how it happened.

Acting: homeless people off the street couldn't be worse.

Dialogue: cringeworthy (and that's being generous).

Suspense: none.

Scariness of the monster: looks like they bought it entirely from Walmart, including the mask. Even a junior high kid could make a better costume (and a better movie).

Quality of the kills: even the average Found Footage is more graphic.

This movie is so awful I actually asked IMDb if they could allow reviewers to give a negative or a 0-star rating. Still no reply. But I'm sure if they saw this movie they'd allow reviewers at least to make 0-stars.

I believe this is the first time that I have watched a movie that is practically unanimity in the IMDb User Rating. "Krampus: The Christmas Devil" is rated one star (awful) by eight (8) users (including me) out of 10 that have written a review in IMDb (meaning 80%).

The story and screenplay are dreadful mess. The direction is awful and the performances are amateurish. There are no scenarios and the cast seems to be using the houses and the bar of friends. The lighting is inexistent and the special effects are terrible. My vote is one (awful).

Title (Brazil): "Krampus: O Justiceiro do Mal" ("Krampus: The Evil Vigilante")

I stopped counting how many flaws I found in this movie. From the painfully obvious rubber gloves on Krampus, to the news reporter who was on channel 9 but said she was on channel 12 (could be wrong channels, I forget now, but NO WAY was I going back to confirm). The bar scene with an audio track depicting a large crowd, no one there. The gratuitous topless girl who was there for absolutely NO reason but the director felt a pair of tits would help ratings? Kudos to the girl, that even though her scene was unnecessary, she has very nice breasts. The only thing good in the movie but still not worth wading through the minutia of bad footage to see her. Blood changes color, makeup was horrid! The acting was abysmal! IMDb did not have a budget listed for this movie. I have a feeling the producers, director, actors, whoever had to pay IMDb to list this piece of crap. If ANYONE gives it more than the lowest rating of 1 star, they were part of the cast. This movie? was something right out of Jr. High theater at best. I give it a gawdawful. You want to see it? You've been warned.

This movie-- if you dare to even call it that, is HORRID. If you do consider watching this movie, be warned, it's an hour of your life you could be doing better, more enjoyable things... Like cleaning your toilet, I'm not even joking... I wish I was.

I will be taking note of the actors, and the producer and will NEVER watch anything they produce in the future. Considering the year of this movie, they have failed. The special effects are terrible, the story is drab and dull, almost as dull as trying to cut a watermelon with a dry slice of bread.

Seriously, if you're reading this review-- DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE, or go for a walk, maybe take up a new hobby, but for the love of god, do not waste your time like I did.