Stonados

You know what you gonna get when you start to watch these D-Movies (even worst than a C-Movie, which is already worst than a B-Movie...) :

Bad acting; Bad screenplay; Bad dialogues; Bad visual effects; Bad story lines; Bad editing; and stupid children;

To summarize : Bad...Everything!

Well folks, this thing has it all AND WORST ! In fact, the only good thing about this dud is it's length : 88 minutes. Short enough you'll think but you'll find yourself wondering what else you could've achieve in 88 minutes...

Stonados is so bad that I would prefer to get a colonoscopy instead of having to watch it again...

Yup! That bad...

Dice997

Like most other made for tv disaster movies, but this one did have a few surprises. It was nice seeing sebastian spence, from my favourite fist wave. There were other good choices but he stuck out more to me. There was a neat idea with exploading frozen metorites which I thought was new.plus we have to give mention to the extras that always get a laugh. It was like sharknado, but less good and with stones/ cool idea but its syfy so just enjoy it.

After the surprise success of Asylum's SHARKNADO, the current trend for these B-movie disaster/monster combos seems to be tornadoes mixed with something else. STONADOS has to be one of the silliest of these ideas, as it's a film where tornadoes are mixed with stones due to some ancient prophecy or some such. It's all nonsense anyway, because tons of people are killed when tornadoes lift debris off the ground and chuck it at them, so why bother with this whole stone angle?

Needless to say that this SyFy Channel production is pretty much devoid of any kind of originality or sense. It stars B-movie stalwart Sebastian Spence (CRASH SITE: A FAMILY IN DANGER) as a journalist who makes it his job to chase storms; inevitably he teams up with the usual group of officials/scientists/investigators to try to track down the menace before too many people are killed. William B. Davis (BEHEMOTH) also shows up as an old timer with a budgie in one of the film's many random sub-plots.

STONADOS is a mish-mash of disaster staples, all of them played out enthusiastically, if without much in the way of skill or discernible talent on the part of those involved. The CGI effects aren't quite bottom of the barrel stuff here, but they're still a far cry from those in THE AVENGERS, for instance. STONADOS is very much par for the course for this sub-genre.

Oh Stonenado, tempest of earth and sky, A maelstrom where reason and chaos collide.

Your fury twists logic, your winds defy sense, Yet in your madness, we find suspense.

Boulders dance through your turbulent gale, Each arc of destruction a harrowing tale.

Heroes rise, flawed but fierce, Through your storm's heart, their courage pierces.

Your CGI falters, your story strains, Yet your audacity remains untamed.

A cult icon of unbridled imagination, Oh Stonenado, a storm of fascination.

Forever may your legend endure, A rocky tempest, absurd and pure.

So in conclusion one of the best films I ever watched!!!

'Stonados' are appearing near Boston, i.e. tornadoes which are throwing stones (or exploding ice cubes). A science teacher and a TV journalist try to warn the population and develop a theory what's causing the storm. Two kids are meanwhile not staying home as daddy told them, but they are going to a stadium that will have to be evacuated before the storm arrives.

The advantage of a disaster movie where they don't have to save the whole planet, but just one city, is that it can tell the story in a more personal way. This is basically a movie for the whole family about a guy who saves his two teenage kids. Nothing extraordinary, but watchable. The funniest moment is when the woman accuses the weather guy of a poor forecast and is immediately killed by a falling stone - clearly a meteorologist's vengeful fantasy. Miranda Frigon from 'Primeval: New World' was the only actor I recognized, she plays the police officer helping the scientist and falling in love with the journalist. Besides, I noticed one cliché that recently appeared a lot in disaster movies: if a camera operator tries to get close to the Dangerous Thing for a good shot, he is always killed. What is it with camera operators that script writers don't like? And where is the trade union when you need them?