Cade: The Tortured Crossing

Cade: The Tortured Crossing is the latest film from everyone's favorite cult movie director, Neil Breen. It's a sequel to another of his films, but I went in without seeing the first movie and still had a good time.

It's all around an awful movie, but it's also highly entertaining. I went to an actual theater showing of it, and I treasure the experience of cracking up and groaning to this movie with at least 100 other bad movie lovers. The dialog is stilted, the acting is stiff, the shots always linger too long, the script repeats itself so many times, and there's at least 7 fake-out endings that will have you begging and then cheering when the film finally does end. It broke my brain, but in a fun way. A very high laughs-per-minute rate as far as bad movies go. Watch it with a big crowd of fellow cult movie fanatics.

This was my first Neil Breen film. I knew what I was getting into, so I wasn't shocked by how inept it was--I doubt anyone who chooses to watch it would be surprised about that. Most folks who seek this out will be wanting laugh at how bad it turned out. Well, it's hard to imagine a movie could be any worse. The story is so poorly told, it makes The Room look well-structured. The basic plot is simple enough, but the way it unfolds is very hard to follow along with. There are absolutely no filmmaking techniques that will help the viewer understand anything that is happening. And the performances are so poor that unless someone states something implicitly, you don't know what they are doing or thinking. Neil might have had it worked out in his head, but he has no ability to communicate his intentions. I really beleive that for a person to put in the time, money, and effort to produce something like this, they must have some kind of impairment. I don't know if it was a brain injury, a developmental delay, or some other form of neurodivergence, but not only is Neil afflicted, I think that anyone who appears in his films must be, too. I can't think of any other reason a person would allow themself to perform the way these people do--not for money, not for acting experience--not even if they were being blackmailed. I haven't even gotten into how visually assaultive this movie is. Anyone who rates this higher than a 1 is only doing so to be funny. There is nothing to appreciate about any moment of Cade, except for fans of bad movies. Those are the only people I would ever hope will sit through this.

In short: A wealthy benefactor funds a hospital to study genome editing that is plagued by black-market medicine theft and poor maintenance.

Neil Breen makes many decisions in this film that, if they were part of a more complete and coherent vision, would be bold and truly represent ambitious B-movie filmmaking.

Aesthetically: The entire movie is shot in green screen, over stock photos. Establishing shots are also stock footage. This is really exciting to me; it represents a really interesting way to do a film on a budget and nobody else would dare to do a film that way.

Narratively: The first 20 minutes of this movie has a lot going on, and it honestly made me wonder if Breen had learned from his previous films. He's certainly learned a few editing tricks. But as the film continues, it's clear that Breen still hasn't figured out how to write a plot with a beginning, middle, and end; scenes happen in seemingly random order and repeat information.

And as usual for Breen, characters speak vaguely without specific details or characterization. This is especially frustrating because it feels like this film, of all his post-Fateful Findings films, really has a clear and interesting premise.

Ultimately I came out of this film really wanting to see Breen direct another writer's work, or another writer direct a Breen screenplay. Both the central narrative idea and the directorial style have interesting things to say, but they both need some external contribution to really make them click.

Ok, where do I start.

To begin with, the lack of talent of this monumentally delusional fella is unparalleled. People might say 'The Room' is the worst movie ever, and it probably is, though I do beg to differ. In my humble opinion that would be the case had not Neil Breen ever existed. Sadly though, he did.

I have seen all of his so-called movies. They all are undeniably horrible; non existing writing & cinematography, delusional characters, Mr Breen himself that can only do good even when he's on various killing sprees, wooden acting (especially on his part,) lack of facial expressions (times-two on his part), the list goes on.

And, after having carefully 'considered' his pedigree, I must say that 'Cade: The tortured Crossing' reaches - by a long shot - the peak of senile stupidity.

Neil Green is a strange animal, even stranger than the white are-you-kidding-me-what-is-this-CGI tiger present in this mega turkey. I mean, each movie he makes, things get worst. He seems not to be able to understand anything on moviemaking, wrapped in his (I'd guess) heavily self medicated self delusion.

I cannot get past the childish attitude this untalented fella projects on the screen. I cannot get past the moment he saw a... "Hey, look! A green screen! OMG now I can make a whole movie disregarding (even more than before) perspective, storytelling, acting. I gotta run though, gotta use as many pictures as possible from my ShutterStock free trial.

A Romanian Castle? Perfect!

A dilapidated building? Right on!

The Austrian Alps? Fantastic!

Whatever? Even better!

Who cares!! Now I will be able to do any nonsensical no-sense anytime I want. Tell you what, from now on call me Neil Green." Ok, all jokes aside he clearly must have some kind of issues, and I am saying that because no functioning person can misuse a brain the way he does.

I need to add something else. I have never reviewed any of his stuff, this time I had to. Especially after having noticed the scam he's pulling off here on the IMDB database. The scores this master-crap is receiving (10s after 10s) reflect a troubling state of affairs. Clearly, the desire to inflate ratings means that among this man's numerous negative qualities a new one, perhaps the worst, is emerging: deception.

Enough now. Let's just end it by saying I wouldn't wish my worst enemy watching this pile of crap.

Please Neil Breen, please stop this insanity. Yes, you have a Ferrari, and yes you are and forever will be the good one, we got it. We finally did. So now your work's done. Please, disappear. Please.

It's not every day I write a review.

"Cade: The Tortured Crossing" is a film that defies easy categorization. It is a work of bold, uncompromising vision, and one that will challenge and provoke audiences in equal measure. Director and lead actor Neil Breen has crafted a film that is both deeply personal and yet speaks to universal truths about the human condition.

Breen's performance as Cade is nothing short of extraordinary. He brings a raw intensity and vulnerability to the role, capturing every emotion with a depth and nuance that is truly remarkable. His direction is equally impressive, as he creates a cinematic world that is at once beautiful and haunting, with a sense of mystery and danger lurking around every corner.

But what truly sets "Cade: The Tortured Crossing" apart is its willingness to grapple with difficult, complex themes. The film tackles issues of identity, trauma, and the nature of reality itself in a way that is both thought-provoking and deeply moving. It is a film that demands your attention and rewards it in spades.

The supporting cast is equally impressive, with standout performances from Sarah Parker as Cade's love interest and Jack Thompson as his mentor. The film's score is haunting and beautiful, perfectly complementing the visuals and performances to create a truly immersive experience.

In the end, "Cade: The Tortured Crossing" is a film that will stay with you long after the credits have rolled. It is a testament to the power of independent cinema, and a reminder of why we go to the movies in the first place. With its stunning visuals, powerhouse performances, and fearless storytelling, this is a film that deserves a perfect score of 10 out of 10 stars. Don't miss it.