Look at Us Now, Mother!

I have an older sister and younger brother that are both 7+/- years away from me. My mother wasn't critical of my looks like that, but the whole strong willed thing going for me earned me the "Black Sheep" label. I wasn't bad or mischievous, but I was super busy and didn't simply do what I was told until I saw it was fit-a quality I was born with. I couldn't help it. I seriously thought I might be adopted in my teens. It wasn't until my early 20's when she and I became the best of friends. I'm so thankful for that opportunity.

Seriously digressing here, but this documentary hit home fo me personally.

I would recommend this for anyone that was that "Family Freak" that people loved but just couldn't digest.

"Look At Us Now, Mother!" (2015 release; 86 min.) is a documentary by Gayle Kirschenbaum, examining her relationship with her mom. As the movie opens, we are informed that "This is a film about forgiveness" and we soon learn why. We are introduced to the various family members (Gayle, her mom and dad, and her two older brothers), and after a quick look at what mom is doing these days in Boca Raton, we then go back in time to look at the family's origins. To tell you more would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the latest non-fiction work from writer-director Gayle Kirschenbaum, best known for her acclaimed film "A Dog's Life: A Dogamentary". Here we are invited into Gayle's family, and in particular as to why her mom withholds her love, affection and approval from Gayle from a young age on, and always speaks her mind (mom to Gayle: "your nose is too big"). Or as a friend remarks: "What's on her long is on her tongue". It makes for difficult watching at time, to be honest. I was abhorred at how Gayle was treated. But does this paint the entire picture? That is where the movie gets interesting and revealing. Beware: a majority of the movie is shot on hand-held devices, and at times the shaking of camera is just too much.

I recently saw this at the 2016 Jewish Israeli Film Festival here in Cincinnati, and the packed theater laughed, and cringed, at all the right times. Definitely worth checking out if you are interested in a family's complicated history and behavior.

Beautiful film! I thought the film was beautiful and I especially loved the way the story was structured. It started with such admiration, love, and a great sense of humor. As the film continued, I loved the way we saw more into her mother's past. It made it clear why there was such an empathetic tone to the film. Personally, it reminded me that no matter what happens, and no matter what turns my life takes, it's never too late to heal, learn, and reflect on my journey. The way that it was captured like a home video made it feel very personal, yet relatable and universal at the same time.

Then you will enjoy this real portrait of the filmmaker's mother who appears to be a classic narcissist and who has gaslighted her daughter for her entire life and triangulated her family members to make her daughter feel as if she was the "problem." Despite all this, the filmmaker appears to have survived it all, wise, and patient. I get the impression she can see through her mother's tactics. Note to filmmaker: it's not about forgiveness but acceptance. Your mother does love you and she's funny too.

Kirschenbaum's extremely personal look at her rocky relationship with her mother is a necessary exploration through film to forge new methods of understanding those we love the most. Kirschenbaum illuminates the multifaceted dynamics in her relationship with her mother as she turns the camera on herself. This film shows our complexities as humans as we strive to understand our own emotional make-up, and the motives behind the actions of others. Kirschenbaum's movement from hurt to compassion is something we should all aim to emulate in our own lives. This film is at once funny, refreshing, heartfelt, endearing, and honest. I highly recommend this film for everyone, as it leads to deeply contemplating our own relationships with those we love most.