Super Cyclone

So bad, so awful that you just can't look away. I'm sure there are similar films out there but I haven't seen one this bad for many a year. My family kept asking me why I was watching and all I could think was it is was like watching a train crash. You know its awful but just can't look away.

So do yourself a favor. Rent, download, catch it on the box. You just need to see how it is possible that something so poorly acted, directed, edited, filmed, produced and released can ever make it onto our screen. Seriously this could have been made by an 8 year old for a school assignment.

If you want a positive out of this movie the time you take to watch it will provide a talking point, and a reference point for zero out of 5 stars!

I really thought this would be the best bad disaster movie because it starred 2 people I have actually heard of before. Then the 3rd name in the opening credits was the make-up artist, that's a huge red flag. The one unique thing about this mess is that there's no crooked oil man that caused the disaster. Just an oil man who had no idea what he was doing and a scientist named Jenna that can choke out a Marine. This is just bad all around.

It would be unfair to bad movies to rank this among them, but the choice for "0" stars is not an option. Most of the actors are good, but every one of them put in an incredibly bad performance in this movie. The writing was terrible, sounds like the script was done as part of an assignment by a grade 10 drama class student that was failing. The graphics were so bad that it boggles the mind that this abomination was ever released for viewing. Even more incredible is that people are charged for viewing it. Special effects are dreadful as well with things like a shipping, then a bit later an SUV, are picked up, spun around and then put back in the ocean and back on the road so gently that nothing broke or fell off from the impact and none of the actors are even mildly shaken by the experiences. The oil platform is listing badly, the word is given that they are capsizing and need to correct the situation immediately. Guy gets up and his chair rolls down to the side of the room, then, as the platform is nearing level (but still listing) the chair roles back to its original place, uphill!

I am only 21 minutes into this movie and already there are more holes than pound of Swiss cheese. For instance: A massive storm, the boat is rocking all over the place, people scrambling for cover, big waves, the whole nine yards. One man falls over board into a perfectly calm, what resembles a black bottom swimming pool. Later they're in the kitchen of the boat - everything on the shelves and counters are in perfect order, like they've not been touched at all. Not too mention, the sky is black, thunder crashing, winds blowing and yet strangely on the deck of the ship, the sun is shining and there is no sign of even a mild breeze anywhere. And the acting - WHERE do they get these people that play in these horrible, boring, ridiculous, so called disaster movies.

I only stumbled across this movie while channel hopping with a coffee. This is a terrible film, even if it was a "made for TV" special.

The acting is simply awful. It's like watching a bunch of Star Trek fans who have filmed their own episode! Every line is delivered with exaggerated breathless earnestness. It becomes painfully obvious that you're watching a low budget production.

The cheesy script and cheesy acting is, at least matched by the cheesy CGI. Digital rain overlaid onto the scene of a bone dry van driving down a bone dry road. Very fake looking clouds, lightning and so on.

If this film was a pizza, it'd be a quattro formaggi.

On the plus side, if you're in the right frame of mind, it's so bad that it's almost laughably enjoyable! :)