Cannibal Diner

While driving to meet her friends for a spot of camping in the countryside, Kati (Alexandra Lesch) finds herself lost. When she gets out of her car to ask for directions, her vehicle is stolen, and she finds herself wandering into a restricted industrial area that is home to a clan of cannibals.

The poster for this low budget German 'Wrong Turn' inspired horror shows its star, buxom beauty Alexandra Lesch, laying naked on her back, her naughty bits obscured by the cannibals' hands, suggesting a film brimming with gratuitous nudity. Sadly, barring a brief shower scene during the opening credits, Lesch fails to get nekkid, her ample charms remaining (mostly*) hidden under that regulation horror item of clothing, the tight white vest.

But a lack of nudity isn't the only way the film comes up short: for a German horror with the word 'cannibal' in the title, there is also a frustrating lack of gore, with only a couple of body part props and an unimpressive 'metal pole in the eye' during the whole sorry affair. For the most part, the film consists of Lesch running around a ramshackle factory, trying to avoid the flesh-eaters. As nice as it is to see such a well endowed girl bounce her way through a movie, it does get more than a little tedious when there is virtually no plot to speak of and a complete lack of originality. Chuck in a dreadfully boring final act shot almost entirely in night vision and what we have is an extremely disappointing waste of time.

2.5 out of 10, rounded up to 3 for IMDb.

*Lesch does strip to her undies towards the end of the film, but filmed in night vision (poorly lit with a green tint), it's hardly worth the wait.

There are worse movies out there than Cannibal Diner and there are a few things that keep it from being worse than it actually was. Cannibal Diner does start off promisingly with some atmosphere and tension, the music has an urgent and haunting vibe to it and the gore is thankfully not too cheap and not used too excessively. The camera work/editing and directing though were often frantic and abrupt and when they do slow down they manage to take slow to extremes. The movie is too darkly lit in places and while the settings have a nice Gothic look you couldn't properly enjoy it because of the state of the lighting and the way it was shot and edited. Cannibal Diner felt very underwritten with the dialogue sounding so awkward it was not easy to take seriously or understand what point was trying to be made. The story apart from the opening has no atmosphere, thrills or tension and just felt very pedestrian and overly-silly, with scenes that went on for far too long and didn't serve anything to the story. The antagonists, not looking terrible but also not mind-blowing either(true of most of the effects here actually), have little personality and no real menace, which made the conflict and threat really unconvincing. There's no better news about the acting, the actors look good and sexy but their acting is another matter, too often being stilted and repetitive. The chemistry is not convincing either with them sometimes being in their own world and not much else. All in all, could have been much worse but a lame movie in most but not all respects. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Shameful on the Cannibal movies category it's shameful compared to Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox, and Jungle Holocaust. Even Eli Roth's Green Inferno dominates over this thing. This was dreadful.

This is for the people that are into movies like Dead Snow, Wrong Turn, The Collector, Creep the list goes on that are nearly the same as this. There's no plot, there's no attempt at a story. Our main character has the brain of a toothpick. The beginning of this movie kills the rest of it, simply cuz she does not know how to take a pair of car keys, and not go somewhere where a sign says not to. Out of everywhere to get help, she goes into the factory, which looks like it came out of a nuclear waist-land.

She is the only character with depth. All 5 other women do not even exist in the movie. They are there for 5 seconds and that's it. Also, the main character says the F word every time, and then it's silence. That's all of her voicings.

I gave it two because of the hot models ruining around with tank top cleavage and short skirts.

To think Herzog, Winders, Fassbinder, Lang, all came from Germany and now this awful film. Hard to believe. The writer seems enjoy chicks running around screaming, which I believe the screams were dubbed anyway.

Other reviews are right, Wrong Turn, makes Cannibal Diner look like a student film shot on 8m.

The lead actress sure spends a lot of time running through the forest and running though an abandoned warehouse. Oops that is the movie. Not to worry about dialogue, there really isn't any. The girls are hot, and I give the casting director the most credit.

TGIF applies here, thank god its finished. Use chapter skip a lot, you will not miss anything. As for the jerky camera no light finale, um, been done before with a lot more style and narration.

I was seeking mindless, escapist entertainment and boy did I find it. Frank W. Montag is listed as the writer and director of this nonsense and he should not be allowed to be near a camera for the rest of his life on earth.

It begins with a few model friends who venture into the woods and set up a tent. They drink some wine and snort some coke before being vanquished by an unseen force.

Next up is Kati(Alexandra Lesch) and she is to meet up with her fellow models in the forest. Somehow, she winds up in an old factory warehouse where she meets up with some individuals with a taste for human flesh.

Alexandra is quite well built but for those expecting a flash of her ample bosom, forget it. She spends the last fifteen minutes or so running and screaming.

One of the villains is in blackface and I was waiting for him to belt out "Mammy" but he only grunted his infrequent lines. I need one hour and fifteen minutes of my life back.