Cannibal Diner

Shameful on the Cannibal movies category it's shameful compared to Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox, and Jungle Holocaust. Even Eli Roth's Green Inferno dominates over this thing. This was dreadful.

This is for the people that are into movies like Dead Snow, Wrong Turn, The Collector, Creep the list goes on that are nearly the same as this. There's no plot, there's no attempt at a story. Our main character has the brain of a toothpick. The beginning of this movie kills the rest of it, simply cuz she does not know how to take a pair of car keys, and not go somewhere where a sign says not to. Out of everywhere to get help, she goes into the factory, which looks like it came out of a nuclear waist-land.

She is the only character with depth. All 5 other women do not even exist in the movie. They are there for 5 seconds and that's it. Also, the main character says the F word every time, and then it's silence. That's all of her voicings.

I was seeking mindless, escapist entertainment and boy did I find it. Frank W. Montag is listed as the writer and director of this nonsense and he should not be allowed to be near a camera for the rest of his life on earth.

It begins with a few model friends who venture into the woods and set up a tent. They drink some wine and snort some coke before being vanquished by an unseen force.

Next up is Kati(Alexandra Lesch) and she is to meet up with her fellow models in the forest. Somehow, she winds up in an old factory warehouse where she meets up with some individuals with a taste for human flesh.

Alexandra is quite well built but for those expecting a flash of her ample bosom, forget it. She spends the last fifteen minutes or so running and screaming.

One of the villains is in blackface and I was waiting for him to belt out "Mammy" but he only grunted his infrequent lines. I need one hour and fifteen minutes of my life back.

While driving to meet her friends for a spot of camping in the countryside, Kati (Alexandra Lesch) finds herself lost. When she gets out of her car to ask for directions, her vehicle is stolen, and she finds herself wandering into a restricted industrial area that is home to a clan of cannibals.

The poster for this low budget German 'Wrong Turn' inspired horror shows its star, buxom beauty Alexandra Lesch, laying naked on her back, her naughty bits obscured by the cannibals' hands, suggesting a film brimming with gratuitous nudity. Sadly, barring a brief shower scene during the opening credits, Lesch fails to get nekkid, her ample charms remaining (mostly*) hidden under that regulation horror item of clothing, the tight white vest.

But a lack of nudity isn't the only way the film comes up short: for a German horror with the word 'cannibal' in the title, there is also a frustrating lack of gore, with only a couple of body part props and an unimpressive 'metal pole in the eye' during the whole sorry affair. For the most part, the film consists of Lesch running around a ramshackle factory, trying to avoid the flesh-eaters. As nice as it is to see such a well endowed girl bounce her way through a movie, it does get more than a little tedious when there is virtually no plot to speak of and a complete lack of originality. Chuck in a dreadfully boring final act shot almost entirely in night vision and what we have is an extremely disappointing waste of time.

2.5 out of 10, rounded up to 3 for IMDb.

*Lesch does strip to her undies towards the end of the film, but filmed in night vision (poorly lit with a green tint), it's hardly worth the wait.

"Cannibal Diner" starts out nicely enough, sort of a German version of "Wrong Turn", but then the movie takes a turn for the worse and it is steeply downhill from there.

The story is about a girl trying to find her friend and sister as they are out camping. But something has gone wrong as the campsite is abandoned when she finally gets there. Stumbling through the woods, she comes across an old abandoned factory, which serves as the home for a group of cannibals.

Right, and that was basically it. The movie started out nicely enough, but once getting to the factory, the movie just dissolved into sheer stupidity. If people had been living out there as cannibals, why would they be familiar with electronic devices? And what was up with the soot-covered faces? And the entire segment where she was running around the factory with a camera set for night-vision, that was just insulting, and it carried on forever.

This movie had no scary moments, and it just become annoying towards the end. The movie is nowhere near the "Wrong Turn" movies, nor the "The Hills Have Eyes" movies, but it tries so hard to be so. I wasn't particularly impressed by this movie, and sort of sank into a boredom-induced coma towards the last third of the movie.

The title of the movie doesn't really make much sense either.

"Cannibal Diner" gets a mere 3 out of 10 stars from me.

I gave it two because of the hot models ruining around with tank top cleavage and short skirts.

To think Herzog, Winders, Fassbinder, Lang, all came from Germany and now this awful film. Hard to believe. The writer seems enjoy chicks running around screaming, which I believe the screams were dubbed anyway.

Other reviews are right, Wrong Turn, makes Cannibal Diner look like a student film shot on 8m.

The lead actress sure spends a lot of time running through the forest and running though an abandoned warehouse. Oops that is the movie. Not to worry about dialogue, there really isn't any. The girls are hot, and I give the casting director the most credit.

TGIF applies here, thank god its finished. Use chapter skip a lot, you will not miss anything. As for the jerky camera no light finale, um, been done before with a lot more style and narration.