Alien Showdown: The Day the Old West Stood Still

Alien Predator War (2013) is the Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Predator nonsense production that Asylum would have been ashamed of.

In this cheap flick, we get some kind of Roswell alien and a Predator dumped on the screen, who come to Earth and encounter unruly cowboys.

There's a time jump, and now we're in the present. There, Prof. Hermit and Dr. Hotchick are bothered by an alien artifact and records of alien invaders. We alternate back and forth between the Wild West and present. All clear so far?

The Predator has developed a few irritating habits on Earth. He finds bare-breasted women quite tasty.

The debris Predator made of rags and rubber scraps is one of the movie's lowlights. He is reminiscent of the waste product of a 4-year-old dropout from handicraft workshop.

The lighting and camera work are also bungling. The movie would have benefited from a lighting technician. In the forest, the actors' faces are constantly in the shadows. And they're actually traipsing around in the forest all the time.

Effects like fire and smoke look like they were added with a cell phone filter.

And what's with that stupid laser railgun with which the Predator never hits anything despite continuous fire? I could go on and on. But I am now calling it a day.

Aaaaah, no, there are sequels! Plural!

Writing, acting, plot and effects are just awful. They forgot to put in punching sounds on the fist fights which were nearly silent. On the plus side, Robert Amstler has a great body and fills out his costume nice. That's what the three stars are for.

Original title, as displayed in the movie: Alien Predator War.

This is actually a nice movie, considering the budget and the level of amateurism. The story is thin but interesting. The cinematography is really amateuristic. It is clear what it is supposed to look like, but it just doesn't.

The movie score is monotonous at best. Better than no music, they must have thought. Some kind of elevator music I think. The acting is fairly decent, save Robert Amstler's performance (Reinhardt/Alien invader) which is more like pretending to act, while stepping through the forest scenery like a 1967 sasquatch. Amstler is best described as a cousin of Arnold Schwarzenegger who never took acting lessons. Also he is the producer of this movie. Multi-tasking is common in these mockbuster movies. Rene Perez is director, cameraman, writer, editor, and fight choreographer.

Special effects are creative but far from good, again with an ultra low budget in mind - fair. There is some inspired screenplay, like making use of the environment nicely (the huge fallen trees). An alien invader (predator lookalike from the movie "Predator") comes in. Very creatively the dreadlock-like beady hear strings are suggested with pieces of ragged cloth. Also, it's stepping through the woods like bigfoot. That's when I realized it must be the same actor playing Reinhardt. Another alien (a "gray") transmits information in an inaudibly garbled voice. I still wonder what it was saying.

The cgi guy worked miracles. Really, I take off my hat. Nice work!

There is a scene with bears, which is clearly out of a documentary like from Discovery or National Geographic. Well, as long as they paid for it it's okay. And YES! There is nudity which seems to arouse the praying predator, breathing heavily and grunting like an animal - and wow! It appears silicone breast implants were available in 1894. Later, in present time, the "gray" alien also likes to look at the naked female body. Kinky aliens, those.

The camera-work and editing allowed a little too much filler footage, seconds in where nothing really happens or is added to the movie, and no entertainment value is apparent. A lot of lost seconds, makes the movie advance a little faster trough time. At the end I was like: "Really? Already?"

Concluding I'd say it is a nice movie on the amateur level. Something a cosplay club could have thrown together. Script is consistent, all the way, in contrary to the Asylums recent "Jack the giant killer". Once I discarded Amstler's chunky acting and the amateuristic cinematography, the movie was really not bad. Was I entertained? Moderately. On a geek level, though.

I enjoyed this film for what it was, just plain entertainment. There is some nudity. The plot is interesting. The acting was OK. Great scenery. At least it's interesting.

I'm open to new ideas, that's why when a film comes along with a ridiculous title or premise it gets my attention.

We are bombarded with the same predictable formulaic nonsense left right and centre so when I see a title like this I had to give it a go.

I knew the likelihood of it being awful was high but I held my breath and dived on in only to find my fears were justified.

A story across two generations, a cowboy battling a highly advanced alien and one very very bored viewer.

I can forgive the effects, I can forgive the lack of experience of the creators but everything about the film screamed poor.

To make matters worse I recently watched the trailer and was astonished at the lack of quality. I've never seen a trailer so shoddily made.

This film appears to be getting some serious hate and all of it is just.

The Good:

Concept is bearable

The Bad:

Shoddily made

SFX are questionable

Cast are highly hit and miss

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Cowboys and Aliens don't mix, just ask Harrison Ford