Breeding Farm

The plot:

After a night of partying, four friends are kidnapped by a mysterious man.

The friends wake up in a basement, and realize they are part of something horrifying. A human breeding farm.

They are to be milked, bred, and much, much worse.

This movie is all over the place. Are they kidnapped for breeding or or eating? You decide because the movie can't.

Honestly, this has got to be the worst movie I have seen in a generation.

The acting is horrible. The girls are skanks. Not attractive in the slightest.

The bad guys are laughable.

Stay away at all costs!

How does one describe this film? Low budget, certainly. Disjointed trash, and as many appellations as you can think of. There is of course nothing wrong with low budget films, even low budget horror films. This has been called horror, although it isn't in the classical sense, there is nothing supernatural or mystical about it, but you have to wonder how sick can the minds be behind it, and why would anyone, especially women, submit themselves willingly to such degradation unless they were being paid premium rates, which clearly they were not here.

Seriously, this film plumbs the depths of human depravity and has no artistic merit. It is difficult to credit that anyone this side of Lawrence Bittaker and Charles Ng could find a single redeeming feature in it. There is a twist at the very end, albeit a totally implausible and dishonest one which you will notice only if you watch the credits, but with or without that, nobody should bother with this one.

Sounded great, on paper. The execution was choppy, at best (that's being generous). While the description suggested something disgustingly sinister, what played out on the screen didn't live up to the billing. That, coupled with the amateurish performance of some of the lead actors, made this barely watchable.

Sometimes I watch this kind of 5th grade foulness just to imagine the "writers" in a circle jerk in their mom's basement. I get it. You're too lazy to come up with a coherent plot and, besides, you met some strippers you can throw $100 at while deceiving them that this movie is going to shock the world.

It's not. Right from the get-go you're like "who cares?" The most you watch, the less you care? No one is good in this. It's the equivalent of musical staring a guy who just had a stroke.

There are craters of dead space throughout this pus on film.

Cannibal Guy: is she as good as the last one?

(Pause for a full five seconds) Unknown Voice: Yeah.

(Pause for a full five seconds) Cannibal Man: You ever had Kentucky Fried P*ussy? It's tasty!

It doesn't get any better. When you're shooting a reporter doing a remote for live news (and maybe you don't know this) you need a mic that *DOESN'T PICK UP WIND NOISES*.

Also, another quick tip: Lights and lighting equipment can be used so you can actually see what's on screen.

Finally, if the father figure is an obvious rapey psychopath then she won't have friends over to the house. For example: If the father says to his daughter's friend something like "I watch ya grow up. Ya filled out real good. If ya ever wanna know a REAL man, jus' gimme a call" then that friend will get the hell out of Dodge really quickly. There may be some ways to find a way to make it work, but that would take far more skill than you could ever hope to have.

I'm giving this a 2 just so it remains buried and hopefully never sees the light of day.

BONUS: Can you find the sock puppet review?

There hasn't been a word invented yet that describes how BAD this "movie" is. Seriously people...DON'T WATCH THIS HEAP OF GARBAGE! I could find better actors in a cemetery. Usually I'm at no loss for words,but BY GOD this heap of trash finally got me to that point. I'm actually AMAZED that something THIS HORRIBLE can even be MADE! Honestly...I could give a camcorder to a tribe of chimps for a day,and when I came back to look at the footage the chimps produced,it would be 500% BETTER that what you have here. If I can save ONE SOUL from the TORTURE of viewing this septic tank of a "movie" then my work here wasn't for nothing. Toodles.