Stranded

I am a filmmaker and try to be as objective as possible. Understanding that many films have limitations, I try to see beyond the finances and look for other qualities such as performance, story, direction, and execution.

Well, I looked for nearly an hour and found myself, after the first 3 minutes, wishing that a piece of the space shuttle would re-enter the atmosphere, crash through my roof, and hit me in the head.

The most exciting moment of this viewing experience was when I finally decided to hit the stop button on my DVD player. The folks that made this fiasco should seriously consider Truckmasters or barber college.

It's a movie

Someone said it's maybe a C-movie. I'd call it trash, and this just shows how low Christian Slater has fallen. He is no longer considered a top actor. He used to be OK, but now he only plays in crap series or crap movies. This must be really hard for him, since he got a famous name and a good reputation. Too bad this is the worst movie he ever starred in. I wanted to kick my TV. I wish he could get a proper role. This movie is the worst attempt of a ripoff of Alien vs Species. Species and Aliens were good, but not together. Besides this, the casting crew had to be paid off to give these people roles. The actors he plays with are pure garbage. Did they win lottery and bribe their way into this movie? And not only that. The props are just awful. Nuff said.

I am always on the lookout for a good SciFi horror film, so I really wanted to like this movie. I thought maybe with Slater it might be a low budget sleeper with good acting and plot. While the actors do try to get through their terribly written lines in a convincing manner, the movie is really bad. I had a sick feeling when Slater started talking into a folding book-light from the dollar store, that maybe this movie was in trouble. Nothing about the plot makes any sense, and nobody reacts in a manner even remotely realistic. Why wear a spacesuit if nobody else needs one in the same area? Why spend valuable time in the middle of a crisis playing with a rock? Why lock-down a room, just to reenter it ever other minute? The movie is a total waste of time. Don't rent this junk.

There's a pointlessness to this film that ultimately leaves you wondering why you wasted an hour and a half.

It's not completely awful, it's just not very good and the main problem is the story, of which there isn't really any.

The directing didn't seem too bad to me and the acting isn't as terrible as some reviewers on here would have you believe, but it's utterly, hopelessly predictable and there was clearly no budget left for effects. They do their best with what they have, but it can't have been much.

I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned the external shots of the moonbase - it is so clearly, painfully a model landscape that all hopes of immersion are immediately lost. And what passes for a moonbase control room is reminiscent of an early episode of Blake's 7 (remember that?).

This isn't the worst film in the world, if you've a couple of hours you don't mind losing or you're a complete SF nut, then knock yourself out. Otherwise, move along now.

Instead of telling you about the story which you by now already have a grasp of, I will instead focus on how unceremoniously bad this movie is.

1) Being a scifi you expect either a cool story or some nice visuals. This has got neither. It keeps telling us it's made on a shoestring budget, and I'll admit that some parts were actually nice looking - but all the good parts are ruined by blatantly stupid props and(see 2)

2)Contrived plot twists. OMFG. I was sitting there watching with my mind's mouth open - not sure that the movie unfolding in front of me was for real. It is like watching a train wreck albeit less mass deathy. It will only give you eye cancer and brain rot. I could not turn away though because this movie is played straight - it takes itself DEAD serious, no humour. I SAID NO!

3) The characters in the movie are supremely stupid and that just blows away all suspension of disbelief because face it - there is no chance in Hell that those people would be astronauts, technicians and doctors. No one would employ them and give them the responsibilities they have, much less send them to space and pay them. No, really - it's just sad.

4) Actually I just have to reiterate nr 3). THE CHARACTERS are so stupid it's insulting to my feces' ability to render art before it's flushed.

I could do a deeper analysis, but I doubt there is any need.

When all is said and done - I was entertained in a very weird way. This is in the same category of bad as "Suing the Devil", but not as enjoyably amusing.

/basement dweller