Rise of the Zombies

I rarely write reviews, but this was so bad that I had to write an angry one to warn others that may flip thru the channels and catch this, thinking what I did - "there's some awesome names in this, hopefully this gets better". I was definitely impressed with the Danny Trejo and LeVar Burton being IN the movie, even tickled to see Ethan Suplee, but that enthusiasm died early on in the movie. The acting was absolutely atrocious - these members would randomly be killed and there would be a small, ten-second emotional breakdown, then nothing happened and they just kept trucking on to an ending that made no closing sense whatsoever. Mariel Hemingway was the worst actress I had ever seen and it's unfortunate for her that I had never seen her in anything before, but now THIS is what's ingrained into my memory. I don't know if all that terrible acting was intentional or not, but it completely ruined the movie for me. Then again, as someone else said, this was produced by SyFy so there's an element of immediate shame once an 'original' movie is released by that network. There's not really anything to give away because, well, the movie ended abruptly and will leave you wanting your hour and a half back.

Rise of the Zombies (2012)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Semi follow-up to ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE has a group of survivors living on Alcatraz island but being forced off when the zombies make it through the water. The survivors then decide to try and locate a scientist who they believe has came up with a cure for the zombie epidemic. Yes, here's another one from The Asylum but it always shocks me that so many people go into these films expecting a good movie. I mean, we know their history, we know the film is starting on SyFy yet people still expect to see a George Romero film for some reason. Personally speaking, when I watch these movies I hope to at least be entertained (by good or bad things) or that the film at least offers something you don't normally see. I'm starting to wonder if people go into Edward D. Wood, Jr. films expecting the work of John Ford. Anyways, this film here certainly doesn't offer much that you haven't already seen but for the most part I found it to be entertaining for a couple reasons. One is that the gore factor has really been turned up and it's to the point where these made-for-TV movies are getting away with more than what theatrical slashers could back in the 80s. One sequence shows a doctor ripping off and cooking his own flesh so that he can feed his starving zombie daughter. There's another scene where a woman must perform a C-section to help save a baby but the really outrageous stuff happens after this. There's also the non-stop gore of zombie bites and zombies getting their heads blown off. The story itself offers up a few interesting ideas but of course none of them are ever fully developed. Mariel Hemingway, Chad Lindberg and LeVar Burton are the latest celebs to get down with The Asylum and all three actually turn in very good and believable performances. So, is RISE OF THE ZOMBIES going to make people forget NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD? Not at all but hopefully people won't come to this thinking it's going to.

Rise of the Zombies: The old song went: I left my heart in San Francisco; with the Zombie Outbreak you'll be leaving other parts of your anatomy there as well.

A water-borne virus has devastated the Bay Area and likely the rest of the U.S. as well. Survivors on Alcatraz work at developing a cure but Zombies float over and almost over run the prison. Those still alive after this attack decide to leave the island, some in search of a vaccine others just to escape. One scientist stays behind.

Fairly gruesome & gory, much eating of the living and even a new-born baby Zombie is brutally dispatched.

Starring Danny Trejo, Mariel Hemmingway (channeling her grandfather) & LeVar Burton this is watchable TV movie, 5/10.

How anyone could attempt to put some sort of positive spin on this rotting can of garbage is beyond me. I, like several others, gave it a chance because of several cast members, but even their performances were atrocious. It was painful to see the chief engineer of the Enterprise used in such a meaningless role. Several of these actors are capable of putting in good solid performances, but not in this flick. Wow! What a complete waste of talent. At times I even wondered if this was some sort of attempt to be funny, like Neil Hamburger, but like him it wasn't. This is the sort of film that has you constantly looking over your shoulder because you're horrified someone might actually catch you watching.

The plot isn't anything new. And the execution is pretty typical.

Mariel Hemmingway's acting was outright painful. Flat line delivery, and almost never with the proper emotion. Ethan Suplee isn't much better, but thankfully he doesn't have to say much. Lavar Burton is excellent, think the emotion of I Am Legend, without the kick-ass survivalist skills. By far the most noteworthy part of the movie. Danny Trejo is as Danny Trejo is, bad-ass. You won't be disappointed by him.

The effects are decent and the gore is quality.

If you enjoy watching formulaic zombie action movies with little cinematic value, this will deliver.