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Home: No hay lugar como el hogar (2015)

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Home: No hay lugar como el hogar

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  • Oh: High hands touching!
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Smell you later!
  • Oh: Smell me now! I can do fixing your car. I have seen you has broken it.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: I didn't break it. I am a good driver. It's supposed to be like that.
  • Oh: Your vehicle is infested.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: It's not infested. He's my pet. His name is Pig. Don't touch him.
  • Oh: Now, he is vibrating. Is he going to explode?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: No, he is just purring.
  • Oh: Why do you haves this thing? Is it useful? Does it give meat or milk?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: What? Ugh. No, you just have pets. For fun, and companionship.
  • Oh: You has me for companion on the ship.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: What is the purpose of your face?
  • Oh: I has confusion. I do not wish to be erased. But maybe Captain Smek is right. It is possible, I will continue making hilarious mistakes.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Probably.
  • Oh: That is not making me feel better.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Nobody is perfect. You know, my Mum says your mistakes are what make you human.
  • Oh: That is not what makes you Boov.
  • Oh: Gratuity Tucci, before we came Captain Smek telled us that the humans needed us. That the humans were just like the animals and that ww could to make them better teach to them. We were told the humans were simple and backwards. It is what we thought. But I am thinking now that we were thinking wrong and that Captain Smek is the wrongest. I am thinking the Boov should never have come to Smekland... to *Earthland*. So I am saying the sorry to you, Gratuity Tucci.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Call me Tip.
  • Oh: Now we can go find Mymom.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: My mom.
  • Oh: That is the thing that I said.
  • Oh: Ah! Involuntary physical response. You have tricked me into listening to a debilitating sonic weapon.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: If you want humans to not hate you you could start by liking some of our stuff.
  • Oh: Confusion. What is happening to my body?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: It's called dancing.
  • Oh: Boovs do not dancing.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: I can tell. But you're getting the hang of it.
  • Oh: How long before this kills me? I am not in control of my own extremities.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: That's it. Work it.
  • Oh: I do not want it to work.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Hey, you know what. Boov rhymes with 'groove'. Shake you Boov thing.
  • Oh: It is shaking in a most undignified way. Oh no, My hands are in the air as if I just do not care. This is not how a Boov behaves.
  • Oh: When the other Boov's said, "Oh!" I knew they were not happy to see me. The truth is that among the Boov, I do not fit in - I fit out.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Okay, pee break.
  • Oh: I, too, has to break pee. Or as you calls it 'Number 1'. We also has the 'number 2'
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Okay.
  • Oh: ...and the 'Number 3'.
  • Oh: Okay.
  • Oh: It is is a good thing I dooz not has to go the 'Number 3'. It would not be safe for you.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Urrgh.
  • Oh: We only dooz it once a year. I would not call it a holiday. But you dooz need to take the day off.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Urrgh
  • Oh: What for are you did this? I am Boov, beloved by all humans.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: I know what you are.
  • Oh: Excellent. Can I come into the out now?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: No, you cannot come into the out now. You can never come into the out ever again.
  • Oh: But I can. You are just having to take away the piece of wood. Well, then I will have to have to- I will shoot forth the lasers from my eyeballs.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: You can do that?
  • Oh: Yes.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Well, if you shoot your eye lasers then I'll have no choice but to explode your head.
  • Oh: You humans cannot to explode...
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: We can too. We just don't much. It's considered rude.
  • Oh: Then, then I am granting you a truce. You are not to exploding heads and I will not do my devastating eye lasers.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Okay. Truce.
  • Oh: So, can I come into the out, now?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: No. This is what you get for stealing planets and abducting people.
  • Oh: Oh, you are thinking a mistake. Boov do not steal and abduct. No. Boov liberate and befriend.
  • [repeated line]
  • Oh: Ow, pain!
  • Oh: You are driving me to the crazy...
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: What did you do to my car?
  • Oh: What dooz you mean?
  • Oh: It should to hover much better now.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: It's a car. I didn't hover at all before.
  • Oh: Welcome home, neighbors!
  • Boov: Boov do not have neighbors.
  • Oh: But that's only due to the size and topography of our former planet.
  • Oh: But now our closer proximity can leads to friendship. You are all invited to my warming-up house party, say 5 o' clock? Yes!
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Stand back, or I deactivate this... gravity thingy.
  • Captain Smek: She's bluffing. She cannot reach the...
  • [Tip stands on tip toe and is able to reach the gravitational device]
  • Captain Smek: Oh! Curse you and your tippitoe tallness!
  • Oh: Hello friend Kyle!
  • Kyle: I am not your friend.
  • Oh: Of course, you are... We have had many enjoyable talks.
  • Kyle: We talked because I am not allowed to move.
  • Oh: You are always saying the funny things. Perhaps you can say them at my warming-up house party tonight?
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: You lied to me.
  • Oh: No, a lie is a bad thing. I did a thing so you can live.
  • Oh: I am very excitement to make a new start. We are moving to best planet ever. Our new home.
  • Oh: Now, I am prepared to accept your traditional gestures of human gratitude.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Actually, our tradition is to punch you in the nose. Hold still!
  • Oh: No, your gratitude is implied.
  • Oh: Today is best day ever!
  • Oh: Why
  • Oh: Answer: Moving day.
  • Oh: For who?
  • Oh: Answer: The Boov
  • Oh: Who are the Boov?
  • Oh: Answer: Best species ever at running away.
  • Oh: Gorg are not the takers, Boov are.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: You were supposed to fix this. What is this?
  • Oh: I calls it Slushious
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Slushious?
  • Oh: It makes excellent fuel and it comes in fun-to-say flavors: Grape Escape, Tangerine Twist and Buster Lime.
  • Oh: I know that when the other Boovs said "Oh," they were not happy to see me. The truth is, among Boov, I don't fit in. I fit out.
  • Captain Smek: You has made your mistake.
  • Oh: But I...
  • [Captain Smek interrupts]
  • Captain Smek: And many mistakes before that.
  • Oh: Wait I have not...
  • [Captain Smek interrupts]
  • Captain Smek: Many many many many...
  • Oh: Actually I have...
  • [Captain Smek interrupts]
  • Captain Smek: Maaany mistakes before that. So, I still has to erase you.
  • Oh: Why?
  • Captain Smek: You can not guarantee you would not make a mistake again.
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: But you might.
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: But you might.
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: Oh, we can go round and round. Let's do it again.
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: But you might.
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: I love this.
  • [Oh holds both hands on his mouth, trying not to speak out, but fails]
  • Oh: But I would not.
  • Captain Smek: Aah.
  • Oh: They are lucky the Boov have come! Boov are best at deciding what is useful and what is not.
  • Oh: I almost did number three!
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: [Screams] Whoa, you can't come in here. This is the girls room.
  • [Oh enters the boys room and looks at the urinal]
  • Oh: Ah! Do not eat the blue mints! Oh, oh.
  • Oh: Thankfully there is a large bowl of lemonade.
  • Oh: Oh! Do not drink the lemonade!
  • Oh: You can drives first and then...
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: You're not coming. I am trying to hide from the Boovs. I am not bringing one with me... You will just turn me in.
  • Oh: No I just needs a ride. I haves official Boov business out of in town.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: Me too!
  • Oh: But I fixes your car!
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: So, I let you out of the freezer. We are even.
  • Captain Smek: Give your captain some sugar!
  • Oh: You were scared? I almost made a Number Three!
  • Oh: Hmm. Humans are more complicated than it said in the pamphlet.
  • Oh: We has a rule. Nine mistakes and you are out.
  • Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci: How many mistakes do you have?
  • Oh: Sixty two.

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